Monday, September 15, 2008

A mixed feelings...

bismIllah...


Hmm... I went home for the weekend, and when I got back, there are 31 emails in my hotmail inbox. Ntah ape-ape jer semuanya... kebanyakan updates from Facebook. Aku dah mula rasa macam nak delete je account Facebook aku. Aku ni bukan bukan sangat Facebook. Banyak sangat applications ntah ape2... Friendster gak yang simple jer. huhu..

Anyway, balik kampung aritu takde buat ape sangat. Aku asyik tido jer cos tak sedap badan*. Cikgu Pah datang hari Sabtu before dia pulang ke Chemor. Sempatla sembang-sembang. Aku rase macam dah lama gila aku tak sembang ngan cikgu. Macam-macam cerita keluar. And of course ade jugak sentuh tentang ketidakpuashatian dia terhadap seseorang. Muahaha...

Anyway, it was fun to be back home. Amirul demam. So, sunyi jelah rumah tu tanpa dia berkejar ke sana sini atau bertanya itu ini... Hmmm...

Aku balik ni, macam-macam perkara yang ditimbulkan untuk pertimbangan aku. Hmm, what do you say to a marriage proposal? Hmm? I really have no idea. :pandacloud_03:

I think I'm not ready yet to be burdened with such big responsibility. Plus, belajar pun tak abis lagi!! Aku plan, insya Allah, nak kawin dalam umur 26 ke... Nak dapat kerja dulu, nak enjoy puas-puas dulu[di sini aku maksudkan, aku mahu berseorangan dan tiada ikatan dengan siapa-siapa] and baru nak bersuami. Aku merasa sangat kelakar bila membayangkan aku menjadi tunangan orang dalam masa terdekat kerana aku sangat-sangat tak bersedia.

Me?? Engaged?? :pandacloud_04: Wow..

I'm just not into it at the moment. Aku tak nak terikat lagi dengan sapa-sapa. Please just let me be... I know I hurt him, but I have a duty to my heart. And my heart doesn't know yet whether you are the one. And I still have my own doubts too.

For me, marriage is sacred. I don't want any bad things to happen. I don't want to be unhappy. Because the fact is, I don't know whether 'he' can make me happy. Or, could he put up with my tantrums and laziness? I'm just not ready yet. :pandacloud_11:

Or...can I make him happy? Can I stand his temper? Can I sacrifice my freedom to be with him? I... I'm not ready yet.

It is a big thing... this marriage thing. It's forever...
And with what I've been through and experienced with my own family, I couldn't help to be extra careful. I don't want to end up like my mother. After 24 years of marriage, ......
Things happened... MASA tidak menentukan apa-apa. Keserasian itu yang penting. Dan persefahaman. I so need someone who really understand me. I am so afraid.

I want to be prepared. But now I know myself... I am not ready yet.
So not ready yet.
I'm sorry...


alhamdulIllah...

16 comments:

izuan said...

Haha.. I agree with you. Marriage IS definitely a BIG thing. I'm not ready for it too. I love being single at the moment.

Btw, you've been tagged! Please go to my blog for details!

Cik Choki said...

ada org dtg meminang? ape ni nyah? u kata u single. tetibe nak bertunang plak? sape lelaki malang yg nakkan ko nie? isk isk. dia xtau ke ko hampeh. haha. mcm x percaya je ko nie.. aku musykil gile nie!

ChaiReeL AziZee said...

keh keh keh...aku nk ckp byk2...tp kang ko terjun fakulti plak kalu aku ckp...hehe..cuma aku rasa...ko mmg betul amek tindakan x nk kawin lg...sbb ko dah la x reti masak...pemalas...ske tido...hahaha.....gurau2 je....hidup muda lagi beb...kita enjoy dulu...kalu ko da kawen leh ajak laki ko p karaoke ke...leh ajak laki ko enjoy2 ngan ko ke..itu....??...lain kot..hahaha

Mr. Azman said...

Salam hana.... ekekke.... wo wo wo.. ade orang masuk meminang ker? Sape kah gerangan tuh? Xceli nape ek?

Oo... tak bersedia. Mungkin kerana terkejut kot. Org pompuan skang ni ske kawin lambat lambat kan... nape tah.

Ape ape pon tahniah ar.. heheheh sure naik gemuruh kan... macam aku propose awek aku laa... sampai sekarang die macam tak caye die nak kawin dgn aku... muahahaha~

Orait... thanks for sharing.
Kreuger®

cybernetics mind said...

Hehehe...dah nk bertunang adik aku ni errkk ? CM hormat dgn Anna punya stand....caner pown banyak jugak kebaikan yg sukar utk kita tolak begitu sahaja....heheheh, rugi owhhh kawin lambat :p

CM tk baper setuju ngan few comments...Xceli marriage can change someone...dari seorang pemalas kpd seorg yg rajin, dari seorg yg tak reti masak kpd someone yg great in cooking, dari seorg yg kaki tidoq kpd seorang isteri solehah yg sering mengejutkan suami bangun qiamulail....dan macm2 lagi yg kdg2kita tk terfikir pun.

In terms of life, walopun I've been married for almost 12 years, I still enjoy my life....tk pernah tersekat pown. Stgh org tu ingat bila kahwin...dets it, game over, no more life...ada ker??? Kalau dari mula (I mean before marriage) kita tk buat apa2 yg tak sepatutnya...so tk der masalah sumernya still boleh continue...lainlah sebelum kawin life mcm adik beradik setan...lepas kawin kena ubah laa :P * uiksss tetiber rasa mcm penceramah pulak...heheheh

Ryehanna said...

Ryehana to Mr Izuan: Leh plak kena tag...

Ryehana to Cik Choki: Ko musykil? aku lagi musykil! haha...yeah, aku memang single maa...anyway,bkn org nk dtg meminang,tapi dah bertanya2 leh dtg meminang ke x... huhu

weh,sesuka hati ko je kata dia malang eh!!

tapi,aku mmg hampeh pon! haha!


Ryehana to Chaireel Azizee: Haha... komen tipikal seorang lelaki muda!

Ryehana to Mr. Azman: Sharing is caring...
Yup,teman xready lg...tu je. huhu

Ryehana to Cybernetics Mind:
CM, mane der ana nak bertunang lagi!!!waaa jgn la kata gitu...[jatuh ar saham! muahahaha]

actually,ana tahu ade banyak kebaikan dari keburukan bila kawin nih, cumanya ana xready lagi...rase tak nak lagi terikat serius...sebab,ana tahula diri ana ni cmner,mmg xready lg.tu jer...huhu...

glad to hear you enjoy your married life.some men don't :]
I'm happy for u!

n a d i r a said...

nak kawin jugak!!...hahaha...tetibe nyemak kat blog org ek...opsss....salam tuan umah...;))

Riezal said...

hey.. nice blog.. keep up blogging.salam perkenalan and salam ramadan.. dari rezdrake

farah aminuddin said...

thats true.. marriage is really a big thing which u cant simply take it easy.. hope u can make a good decision.. =)

ezany said...

hmm.. pilihan yg bijak..
biar kasi habis blajar dulu..
pastu baru pikir nak kawen ke.. kerja ke.. ape ke.. hehe..

Ryehanna said...

Ryehana to Nadira: Hahaha... salam!

Ryehana to Riezal: Thank you. salam kenal dan salam ramadhan to u too...

Ryehana to Farah Aminuddin: I decided to wait until I'm ready... :]

Ryehana to Ezany: Yup. i thought so too...
;]

Aina Ana said...

Ryehanna, akak dulu memang tak expect pun nak kawin. dah banyak kali tak jadi, rasa menyampah jadinya. Alih-alih bertunang juga.

Tapi apa pun habiskan belajar sebelum kawin tu memang akak setuju. Yelah kita belajar pun pakai duit sapa kan..at least kalau kawin pun biar la pakai duit hasil kerja sendiri ye tak? :D

Azraie and The Blog-blog Factory said...

I know ur trauma, it from your vater right?

Find the right one, jodoh x kemana, u'll find the right one one day.. For now, do what is more important.
Study, because womens need education as their backups, if theres anything do happen.

chepsmore said...

marriage is sumthing relation with 2heart together in wateva situation..
although i'm only 9teen,
bt from my parent experience,they do enjoy with their life even after marriege..
*my mom marriage when she at 21,n my father 26*
muda kn my mom..
ala org dulu2..
knal2 la dlu kak..
dr ctu sidia bule tau prangai akak yg sbena nya..
its up to him nk gk tunang ngan akak even da tau akk ni pemalas n hampeh..
kiki..

yonna bebot =) said...

uik??
ada org anta dulang dah ke weh?

omg.
this is a big thing..

tp one thing ja.
kalau ko tak bersedia,better dont!
jangan sebab nk jaga hati, ko terima tanpa pk kesan2 masa depan..

papepun, belajar dulu :)
i know u'll make a right decision.
enjoy ur life first,girl!

:+:+: Ashikyn :+:+: said...

jodoh tak kemane-mane. if he's mr. right u'll know it. hehe..