Monday, March 31, 2008
Bismillah...

****EDITED ( saje bagi majin jeles)

For the first time, my profile views in friendster reach 685!!




Hahaha...

Anyway, aku xplan pun nak post entry untuk blog ni lagi... Busy maa...
Tapi sebab nak catatkan jugak record fs aku kat cni.... Heee....
Hmmm, April akan menjelma selepas jam 12 tgh malam...
Final exams coming up tapi aku ni masih terkial-kial lagi...
Waaaaa.......

Doakan saya...

April sudah menjelma dah pun...pagi2 lagi aku dah kena April Fool... Hampeh sungguh.... (aku edit post ni on 1st April)

1st April reminds me of the Weasleys' twins birthdays; Fred and George... I love HP!

Salam.

Alhamdulillah....

Sunday, March 30, 2008
Bismillah~~

Aku tidur lambat semalam... Pastu, ade la plak someone tu call kata nak sampai Shah Alam in 30 minutes! Dahla dok mamai-mamai lagi baru bangun tidur, then nak kena bersiap plak! Adeh laa... So,nasibla kalau kena tunggu lame ek... Sorry tau...

Anyway, pas breakfast, we went to Midvalley... sebabnya aku baca blog Nyda malam semalam yang kata ade Pet World kat situ...Thanx for the info, babe! Sekurang-kurangnya takdela bosan sangat hari Ahad ku...hehe... So, aku pon merayap la... lagipun sebab hari ni untuk kucing... semalam puppies... oleh kerana aku memang suke kucing, so... excited la nak gi tengok! hee...

Ni aku letak gambar kat sini untuk dilihat dan dikagumi... Tapi gambar tak cantik sangat cos guna phone jer... Hehe... (hehe...Nyda, aku pon nak letak gambar gak!) =P


hmmm....

Snowball....check!



Orange....check!

Why the gloomy face, dear? Muka penyek! hahaha....



Ini gmbr puppy tgh tido. Aku mati2 ingat stuffed toys mulanya...hahaha... ~cos statik je mcm gmbr tu!


Telinga yang unik! Scottish folds?


Cukup la tu sikit-sikit letak gambar...hehe...
Tapi aku memang geram giler ngan kitten warna orange... yang muka penyek tu...haha...


Thanx to someone who came to see me today...
Kalo tak, xdela dapat gi tgk kucing! heehee...
And thanx too for other things...

K lah, aku banyak keje lain nak buat....

Alhamdulillah~~
Friday, March 28, 2008
Bismillah~~

Well, aku tau banyak giler posts untuk blog aku nih. Tapi lantak laa...aku nak menulis jugak. Tak larat baca sudah laa... Tak suruh sapa2 baca pon...heheh...

Kali ni aku nak cerita tentang presentation Bel last Thursday night (utk omputih;Thursday night la...tapi kalau orang Melayu kata malam Jumaat). Presentation yang terakhir untuk kursus BEL492 iaitu Speech Communication or Public Speaking (BEL ni adelah subjek English untuk budak2 uitm,wajib amik dari diploma sampai la ke degree, ade je paper ni...Basic English Learning)..paper ni xde final exam, so last presentation itu lah final nyer... Memang kena beria sikit la. Pakai lawa-lawa... Xleh pakai jeans and t shirt. And aku pon untuk pertama kalinya berbaju kurung untuk kelas Bel nih. Cos the 2nd speech aritu aku pakai kebaya. Aku adalah orang ke 6 dari 8 orang.

Hmm, secara keseluruhannya, presentation malam tu xdelah memuaskan. Sebabnya?? Mmm, delivery xbest. Okay, lecturer Bel suruh kitorg (engineering students) cari tajuk yang teknikal. Budak2 ni (including aku) carilah tajuk-tajuk yang teknikal. I mean, yang ade unsur sains dan teknologi laa...yang berkaitan ngan engineering ke...sbb tu aku mcm nak maut pikir nak wat tajuk ape cos aku xmo lecturer bosan. Anyway, topic2 presentation pada malam itu adalah;

1. V12 Engines (memang jenuh kena sound laa),
2. Abrasive Jets (tajuk and contents memang dah best...tapi delivery and penekanan untuk bagi info pada lecturer kureng...),
3. Skyscrapers (haa...mamat yg present tajuk ni sggh memeningkan kepala cos presentationnyer bercelaru...),
4. Jet Engines (bdk ni kena stop in the middle of his presentation cos my lecturer couldn't take it anymore!-->bdk ni kena redo on Friday i.e tonight!),
5. CNC Machining (ini tajuk Ecah. Dia pon kena redo jgk patutnya...tp xjd cos dia g jmpa n explain blk semula kat lecturer smpai lecturer paham),
6. Infrared (ini tajuk aku...aku lari dr engineering fields, at least from mechanical thingy cos aku pon bosan ngan engineering...hahaha! Alhamdulillah, aku jer dapat ucapan "Thank you" dari lecturer aku malam tu..hehe)
7. Tajuk yang ke 7 aku lupe...tapi tentang bridges.
8. Airbags (bdk yang present ni mmg kelakar!)

So, bayangkan lah lecturer yang xtau ape itu resonance, torque, milling machine, non-traditional machining (NTM), thermodynamic laws, CNC Machining (Computer Numerical Control) and mcm2 lagilah istilah engineering terpaksa bear ngan presentation yang macam tu...and mmg xdinafikan presentations last night were boring...diorang ni pon bukan nak simplify ayat... Lecturer dah warning;
"Tell me like you to tell your mother, or someone who has no engineering or technical backgrounds!"
aku asyik jeling2 belakang je...tengok lecturer...muka dia interested ke tak...huhu...kecut perut nak present weh!

Tapi alhamdulillah laa aku ni dekat2 nak last, so aku mmg dah prepare. And alhamdulillah English aku ni walaupon dah berkarat and broken2 ckit, tapi she said (lecturer aku la..),
"Well researched, Raihana... Thank you."
Itulah first time kalimah thank you keluar dr mulut dia malam tu... and memang from the way she looked at me when she said it, she looked glad. Haha... tapi still, aku stuttered a lot. And tgk/baca notes!

Oh, tapi yang paling best about that night was one particular presentation presented by the clown of our class, dear Mizan.

His topic was 'Airbags'. Okey, tajuk ni memang dah common sesangat and I can see that my lecturer wasn't impress by that topic. But, his presentation was hilarious. I mean no disrespect, no demeaning whatsoever cos I adore his antics! Budak ni memang kelakar giler... He's a Kelantanese, I think. So, memang slang east coast tu xleh nak hilang la..esp kalau kat boys kan.. tu tak kisahla...dari cara dia yang selamba kodok and macam blur kejap2, buat aku tergelak memanjang. And yang paling lawak time dia nak explain tentang macamane airbags tu berfungsi.

Okey, name pon kelas Bel. So, kena present in English la kan. And bdk ni memang xdela terer beno b.i nyer... Cube bayangkan, dia nak cari ayat atau perkataan yang sesuai smbil wat muka2 blur, and then bile mcm xjmpa perkataan yang sesuai, dia lakonkan je...

"You know, when you hit on something...er..the airbag...er..the airbag will...will...er gapo dio laa...hmmm..ah!"
Then dia wat macam kepala terhantuk kat stereng kereta and wat style orang pengsan!

Aku gelak sampai xcukup nafas. Sakit giler perut aku time budak ni present. Sampai berair-air mata aku. Badan aku jangan cakap la... Menggigil2 tahan gelak. Dan aku terpaksa keluar kelas time dia present dalam 3 minit untuk bagi reda rasa kelakar. Bila masuk, tengok dia and dengar perkataan2 yang lawak, aku gelak balik! Giler ah...keras perut weh!

Bukan aku je (tapi mmg aku the only girl yang gelak mcm nak mati) yang gelak. Semua orang gelak. Lecturer aku pon. And husband dia yang memang teman dia pon gelak. Dahlah husband dia xpernah bersuara pon time tiap2 malam yang dia dtg teman isteri dia ngajar kat kelas, tup2 time si Mizan ni present, sampai terbatuk-batuk orang tua tu gelak! Tapi bukanlah kami gelakkan dia sbb dia xpandai present, xterer english dan sebagainya...bukan mcm tu...just...mm, xtau nk ckp... Memang kelakar!

Hee...

Okeylah,nak letak gambar laa...

The cause of the hullabaloo...


My lecturer and her husband... who used to be a silent observer... =)

A Quick Reminder;
Final exams coming up!
Busy!
Busy!
Busy!

Salam.

Alhamdulillah~~

Thursday, March 27, 2008
Bismillah~~

Never say I love you
If you don't really care

Never talk about feelings
If they aren't really there

Never hold my hand
If you are gonna break my heart

Never say you are going to
If you don't plan to start

Never look into my eyes
If all you do is lie

Never say hi
If you really mean goodbye

If you really mean forever
Then say you will try

Never say forever
Cuz forever makes me cry.....

From Zwani.com

Alhamdulillah~~

Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Bismillah~~

sambungan dari Part I>>>

Moving on to Form 2, Zera started befriending Zaim from 2BA.BA and Elite were like enemies,actually. We were very very competitive but unfortunately BA had more handsome boys than our class..haha…I don’t know how serious Zera and Zaim were, but Zera insisted that they were friends. The most unforgettable event was on 18th Aug 1999 (Zera’s birthday). Zera got a present from Zaim and the present disappeared before she even opened it. She mistakably accused Zack and they got in a nasty battle when Zack shouted at her menacingly that he didn’t take the present. Zera knew later that Zack didn’t take it after it appeared the day after that incident. Zera also knew later that the gift was taken by a group of ‘asrama’ girls of her class. They were curious about Zaim because Zaim was considered a ‘skema’ boy. Anyhow, Zera remains friends with Zaim, Zack and the girls.

From what I observed, during Form 2 was the time when Zera started to have penpals. Like Abg Man, Abg Epol and Umi...I think it was good for her to make friends outside our circles of friends. This period was also the time when I think Zera hated school’s rules. She hated wearing a badge and always has a spare in her bag to put on during spot check. Funny…Zam also didn’t wear school badge. There was a time when both of them were caught not wearing school badges. Oh, Zera and Zul also become less cold to each other at this time. I caught Zera smiling at Zul once.


Form 3 is the most straining year because we had PMR exams coming up at the end of the year. I recalled seeing Zera studied a lot at home. When I teased her, she just shrugged and said that she wanted to get out of our little town. To see new things and to experience new surroundings. At this time, the top students of our class were Zack, Zam and some of the ‘asrama’ girls. They were excellent in Maths and I pitied Zera for her lack of interest in Math subjects. She disliked the subject. Well, she disliked Maths since primary school. Fortunately, she sat behind Zam and in front Zack. So they helped her a lot. Mostly, she got help from Zack because she was a little shy with Zam.

As I told you earlier, Zera and I were bestfriends. She told me that she noticed that Zam liked her. I told her she was being silly and must’ve imagined it…(I even teased and called her “Perasan”) . but she insisted. So, I asked her whether she liked Zam or not. And…I dunno…I felt that she was a little confused. At that time, the closest she ever been with a boy is with Zam….and Zack. She said she liked both of them. Heh, clever Zera…Picked brainy boys than handsome ones. But hey…both of them were okay…even though Zera told me she liked Zam, but there is no unmistakable joy on her face when she’s with Zack. So…the friendship went on for years…Zam showed that he really liked Zera but Zack was not that kind of person. Zera did told me that Zack liked her friend(our other friend), Liza. Poor Zera….she knew Zack liked someone else but still…Zera helped Zack to get Liza.

Whenever there was a misunderstanding, she told them things to keep them together. We were all good friends. No matter how we liked someone, we never actually told him or her that. So, basically….during our years in Form 3, there were just friends, good friends, best friends and no couple. Except for one. Remember Zul? Yeah…that guy who liked Zera when Zera was in Form 1. They were friends during late 1999 and Zera even beginning to feel ‘love’ for this guy. So, Zera told one of her bestfriends, Zora. And unfortunately, Zora kind of snatched this guy from Zera. Imagine how she felt. I remembered how she almost cried when she called Zul but the lines were busy with Zora’s. And I knew from that moment Zera will never confide in her girlfriends about guys she liked. But hey….Zera still remain friends with Zora. Good friends actually. They even had a fight when they finished school. Friends quarreled sometimes...and their fight wasn’t permanent.

So…when PMR was around the corner, Zera and her friends; Liza and Zaza always went on a study group with Zack. I could see how annoyed Zera was to see how Liza went all girlie-girlie when Zack’s around. Liza said she didn’t like Zack but seems to me, she still made something for Zack to notice her…Ahh,I never understand girls (that are really girls..all sweet and soft kind of girl)Our PMR results were ok,especially for Zam. He got straight 8As and was offered to MCKK and Zera was really happy and sad about PMR results. Zera got 7A sand 1B but she didn’t get to go anywhere. Zack got only 6As but he got offered to MRSM. Guess his Maths and Science were excellent….no doubt.


To be continued...

Alhamdulillah~~
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Bismillah~~


Kertas soalan yang aku repeat dan henpon kesayanganku.


Stress melanda diriku ini... Kenapa tidak? Kerana aku kurang belajar. Huhu.. Aku ingin pulang ke kampong hujung minggu ini tetapi aku baru tahu yang modul aku bukan last weekend (yang aku sedih2 sangat tu..), tetapi this weekend! Aku baru tengok kat notice board pejabat am fakulti pagi tadi... Time hantar borang kursus intersesi... Huhu... Sekarang yang bermain di kepala ialah; "Nak balik ke xnak?" berulang-ulang kali... O_0

Perlukah aku pulang? Kerana aku memang perlu study... Exam dah dekat dah Yong oi!! Waaa... (inilah aku di kala nak exam...) Tapi, kalau tak balik this weekend, bila lagi? Mesti next week busy nak test jer berlambak-lambak... Hmmm... And aku stress juga kerana kehilangan tutor yang setia mengajar aku selama ini, pembakar semangat aku dan cheerleader aku di kala stress tahap gaban ni... Why can't we still be friends?? I wish we are... (T_T)

Anyway, aku juga tertanya-tanya tentang kehilangan Wan dalam radarku. Ke mana hilangnya orang tua ini? Since dia balik Malaysia last 2 weeks (or so), I only got the chance to talk to him twice (or so..)... Mmm, bila dengar lagu Takkan Ada Cinta Lain nyanyian Dewa yang sentiasa berkumandang di blog aku ni (cos itu first track kan...), mesti teringat kat orang tua sorang ni. Cos dia yang suruh download and dengar lagu tu. Sedap katanya... Aku yang memang jarang dengar lagu2 Indon ni pun download la... Hmm memang sedap pun! Dah jadi my favorite song... and I love the lyrics... =)

Hmmm... biarlah. Maybe ade problem kot... Anyway, aku just mencatat cos tengah bermalas-malas... huhu... Tension memikirkan nak balik Beruas ke tak weekend ni... Oh, and ade la orang yang dok menunggu aku balik ni. Kononnya nak dating kat Lumut plak. Asyik2 dia je kena datang Shah Alam... Haha... Dating ke? Bukan date ok! I'm a free woman! Yezzar! And please don't take that away or assume I belong to someone else other than myself. =P

Okeylah, nak sambung wat preparation untuk presentation Bel. I have chosen a topic. Tentang Infra Red. Hahaha... macam bangang jer... tapi serius aku memang dah xde idea lain. Jadila... Puan pun bls sms dengan, "Okay, go ahead." Okla tu gamaknye kan... Yang penting delivery... Kwang kwang... Oh, I suck at public speaking. Darn it.

Wish me luck for my presentation tomorrow. Don't know what to wear. Baju kurung la kot cos aritu aku pakai kebaya abis kena tegur ngan dak2 ni... Jangak sangat ke? Huhu... Eleh, tapi maybe sebab aku xpernah langsung pakai baju kurung/kebaya selama aku belajar Bel pada semester ni kot? That's why nampak lain. Haha... <---nak sedapkan hati

Salam.

Alhamdulillah~~
Bismillah~~

Semalam...selepas makan malam di DC (Dataran Cendekia),aku dan Nini ternampak la macam ade program jer kat tgh2 DC tu...so, pegi la usya kejap cos nampak ade orang macam nak nyanyi2... Standard la kalau aku dan Nini,memang minat la nk dgr cos the singer is female... Kalau lelaki tu, maleh ckit nak gi tgk...haha... Rupenyer ade Speaker's Corner kat ctu. Aku xtau pun. And xpenah tau pon even mende tu mmg dh ade sebelum ni... Layan jela kejap cos bosan giler... Lagipun suara singer tu sedap. Budak Law... Name Ana ape tah. Aku ingat Ana jer cos name same cam aku...hehe.. Tapi memang suara dia sedap. Lagi2 dia nyanyi lagu yang dia buat sendiri bertajuk 'Masih'. Huhu... Oh, and aku perasan Moris a.k.a The Gaylord pun ada dekat ngan area stage. Ramai dak Law ade kat situ malam tadi... Malas nak gi depan... So,aku sms je Moris bgtau aku dengar orang sebut nama dia...

Oh, yer... aku baru jer save gambar-gambar kucing Yong yang bernama Vanilla Coke itu... Memang comel! Geram giler aku tengok... huhu... nak balik la weekend ni... harap-harap dapat balik....

Hai...my name is Vanilla Coke! ~ stupid name...

Hahaha... kucing yang buat2 comel... tapi nasibaik ko memang comel!
























Please don't hate me cos I'm beautiful...


Tapi aku perasan yang muka nyer tak manis langsung... Tengokla dalam gambar-gambar ni... Tak senyum pon! <---(dari pandangan mata aku la...) Well, xper... tgk la kalau aku dah jumpa kau nanti wahai Coke! Tahu la aku nak belasah... Muahahahaha~ evil laugh


Alhamdulillah~~
Monday, March 24, 2008
Bismillah~~

Here is a short story written a few years back...


Can I Trust You With My Heart?

Please sit down,
and look my way.
There is something
I'd like to say.

We've both been friends,
that's very true,
but now I find
I'm falling for you.

It's scary to feel
the way I do.
I keep remembering
what my hearts been through.

I’ve loved someone once,

I gave him all my heart,

Guess I’m not good enough,

And it caused me a broken heart.

Would you break it
if I gave it to you?
Or would you mend it,
and make it new?

Would you love me,
and hold me tight?
Reassuring me
it'll be alright.

Would you Love me forever?
Or just for awhile.
Would my love be trusted?
Or put on trial.

Would you be true,
loving only me?
Or would I be one
of two or three.

I've got to know
right from the start.
Can I trust you
with my heart?

I have a friend. A very good friend and I loved her so much. Her name was Zera. We went to the same school in we were kids. When we were kids of nine years old, she was a tomboy. She was punched in the stomach once by a boy who sat beside her. But when we went up to Standard 4, she said she liked him. Poor Zera, the guy moved out and she was a little sad about it. But it was nothing, she told me. She just liked him because he became such a great friend. Huh? Whatever…so,when we were in Standard 4, Zera was becoming more dedicated in her studies. Mind you....we were not a clever bunch of kids. Zera and I never got 1st place in class. We were always the average…maybe 8,10,7 and 5. But in Standard 4’s final exams, she got 2nd place in her class. I was a little surprised but it was good because she was very happy. I know how she must’ve felt, having an older sister who always got 1st place in class and Zera was not like her older sister. We always hang out with friends who were continuously happy throughout the year, not caring to study hard though their studies were not something they could be proud of.


However, we had our fun times together; marching down the river and creating noises louder than the monkeys, went fishing at the abandoned pond and rivers, climbing trees and eating fruits…ahh…what a fun times they were. During childhood times, I could still vividly remember how I used to play ‘masak-masak’ and ‘rounders’ with the rest of the gang. We always come by to Zera’s because she had 2 younger sisters and 2 younger brothers who always joined us. She loved playing but she hated sports. That’s what she always told me. But she did play netball and ‘bola baling’ when we were in Standard 6. and…as far as I remember, that’s the only game she knew. But she loved playing hide and seek! Imagine a 12 years old playing hide and seek with kids younger than her! J our last years in primary school was ok. Zera was elected Head Girl and she sure was feisty!

Anyway, the tomboy Zera has changed a lot when we were in secondary school. She never involved in lovey dovey things before (although she had lots of male friends) and it scared/shocked her when there was a boy who liked her when we were in Form 1. The boy was cute but I don’t think Zera was ready to have a boyfriend at a tender age of 13. She just wanted to be friends with the boy, Zul….but Zul felt rejected and they never spoke to each other even when they were in the same class. This mute relationship goes on until they were 15. Anyway, Zera was good to her words. When she said she just wanna have friends, then friends it is. She made a record of her life when she got the 1st place in class and the 2nd place in our form during Form 1. and of course, that was the first and the last time she got that great place.hihi…the other classmates went up to improve themselves. Well, as a girl herself, we did talk about which boy we liked and disliked. Zera used to like Zul actually,but she just didn’t want to be serious at such young age. She also liked boys with ‘bad boy image’(but the macho and cute one,of course). One of her favorite and remains today is Jiji. Well, I gotta admit that he’s cute, alright…


I used to teased Zera the way she stared at Jiji at school. Jiji wears some kind of black and silver bracelet and a necklace made of….heck,I dunno. And he dyed his hair brown once, I remembered. And he’s cute with spiky hair, ‘soldier’ hair and even a bad-hair-day hair ( does that makes any sense?)anyway, Zera loved to stare at him. They never spoke face to face(haha!) but always engaged in telephone conversation. It irritated me to not being able to call her sometimes. Oh, during Form 1, there was a new boy in our class. He was a local boy that was offered to study in a boarding school but he moved back home. So, he went to our school and expectedly ended up in our class. His name was Zam. He was okay to me but Zera was a little uneasy when he first moved in. It was quite understandable because there was a rumour when we were in Standard 6 that Zera liked him.

Zam did not went to the same primary school,actually. But I guess, few people know about it so finally Zera was okay. She did tell me that Zam was kind of cute too. But then, Zera liked many boys in our school especially Dayat, from 1BA. He’s a mighty handsome boy in our batch and undoubtedly has many girls’ admirers including me. But I ain’t gonna let my feelings show, cos I loved seeing his face and his actions in field(he played football), but I don’t think I’m in love with him. It's just a crush...or infatuations... Well, I guess Zera felt the same way like I do. She seems to brightened up whenever she saw him but she said nothing. We knew that these feelings are just temporary (it’s not like we’ll want to be serious).



To be continued....


Alhamdulillah~~
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Bismillah~~



Oh, aku baru teringat Ecah bgtau aku yang classmate aku (yang dah kawin) is pregnant!
Heehee... I'm so happy for her. Yelah, nak dapat baby! Baru jer last month kitorang ngusik dia bila nak dapat baby... siap offer nak tolong jaga lagi kalau free petang2... Hihi... Her husband pon student gak kalau tak silap. Budak engine gak. Hmm, macam best jer kalau dah kawin... Tapi aku teringat dia bgtau kami (Aku, Najwa and Ecah), kahwin tu memang lah best tapi mostly for guys... Cos ade orang yang jaga makan minum dan sakit pening diorang... And of course la sebab 'ehem2'... LOL! Tapi kalau untuk perempuan, zaman bercinta lagi best dari time dah kahwin (kata kawan aku... bukan aku,ok!) sebab dah kawin ni xboleh nak mengada2 or merajuk2 macam zaman bercinta dulu... Yang lelaki tu dah malas nak pujuk... Siap kena tempelak "mengada-ngada" lagi adalah... (tapi of course la marah2 manja je kot...) Aku gelak gila-gila bila dengar. Oh, yeke?? Haha... xtau la pulak kan.... Tapi ape pun, marriage is a blessing. Itu yang terbaik untuk dapat hubungan yang diredhai Allah. To my pregnant friend, Congratulations! And jaga diri leklok...

Hmm, cerita tentang kawanku yang dah berkahwin ni, teringat pulak kat kawan masa diploma dulu... Ape cerita agaknya... Last time I heard, my friend (lelaki) minta tangguh satu sem untuk kerja (sem ni la...cos bdk Meky Penang kena tukar Shah Alam tapi dia takde pon tukar ke cni sem ni), and his wife yang jugak same batch ngan aku masa diploma dulu dah quit program degree. She was studying Electrical Engineering. Susah jugak kan kalau kahwin time belajar ni cos dibelenggu masalah kewangan... Tapi masa diorang nikah dulu, memang jenuh kena ngusik jer...haha... Aihh... teringat kenangan di Uitm Penang... di mana kitorang rapat dengan lecturers... Sampaikan lecturer Plant Engineering ku, En. Khairul Fauzi, kalau nampak aku jer mesti nak ngusik, "Tak dating ngan cik abang ke?"...Cos aku n my ex kalau ke mana-mana memang berdua... Even aku nak ke kelas pun dia hantar... Ahh, aku memang mengada-ngada... And kalau En. Najib yang ngajar aku Termodinamik nampak aku guna nota my ex dalam kelas, dia akan mintak nota ex aku tu untuk difotostat (nak bagi student2 dia sem depan). Cos my ex loves Termo and his notes memang neat giler. His handwriting dekat2 macam tulisan aku... Kemas la kan... Tak macam other engine boys...

Hmm......

The heart that truly love never forgets...

Alhamdulillah~~
Bismillah~~


::PAGI::

Yezzar, this morning I got up at 7 thirtyish to get ready for 'the gotong-royong' yang kolej ku buat... Mengecat la konon2 nyer...haha... Nini beria suro turun cepat2 cos ade senam robik ke mende tah... Elok2 aku turun, dh abis dah pon... haha...Oleh kerana dah terbangun awal, kitorang pon gi breakfast kat kafe. Tapi yang hampehnyer, aku xbawak duit. And Nini bawak RM5 jer sekeping... So, share la makan 1 pinggan... hahaha...
Then, on the way nak balik bilik, Nini mulalah menimbulkan idea menghabiskan duitnyer pada aku,
"Weh, jom gi tengok wayang... Leh dapat yang early birds nyer... tiket murah ckit..."

"Nak tengok kat mane?"
"GSC"
"Citer aper?"
"Ntah...tula...jom online tengok ade citer best tak?"
"Aku nak tengok 27 Dresses..."

Makanyer, kami pulang ke bilik aku untuk tengok arini ade citer aper... Malangnyer citer yang aku nak tengok tu xde dekat GSC, nak ke Bkt Raja tersangatlah malas cos kena naik bas yang bodoh and selalu lembab... hehe... So, aku bosan and tertidur time Nini main tenet and aku sedar2 dia dah blah... itulah kegiatan hari Ahad kami yang membosankan... hahaha...


::FRIENDSTER::

Aku memang hari2 check friendster. Biaselah bagi orang yang xde life macam aku ni... Hahaha...
Mm, dah ade 460 views dah since 1st March 2008. And yang aku heran, ntah sape2 la yang view aku... kebanyakan dari extended network... And aku perhatikan sekarang ni, ramai pulak bdk2 dr army (xkira la airforce ke, navy ke, tentera darat ke...) yang mengadd aku... And yang paling kelakar bila baca komen kat page diorang. Boleh plak bergaduh cos mamat A xpuas hati ngan mamat B yang asyik upload gmbr2 'ketenteraan' (gmbr pakai uniform, naik chopper, bla..bla..bla...) Aihh...ntah ape2... Tapi, memang aku sendiri dah naik muak menengok gambar2 orang pakai uniform nih. Smart sangat lah konon... Yer, memang smart. Tapi... aihh... bosan. especially kalau bdk2 yang baru join masuk mende alah tu... mmg nampak kepoyoannya...haha... that's why lah kalau aku dah tengok dia nyer primary photo tu gambar pakai uniform (or pgg senapang or logo army atau yang sewaktu dengannya), memang aku malas nak view dah...

Hmm, lagi satu benda bosan about org dalam fs ialah, tanya soalan2 bodoh... soalan2 yang kalau aku xjwb pon, mmg boleh tau dari profile aku. Kalau dah di add jadi friends tu, tgk jelah profile... Aku ni orang mane, blaja kat mane, course ape... Ini leh plak bagi comment, "Orang mane?", "Blaja aper?" Ee...nak kata bodoh, tahu membaca dan guna Internet... tapi serious aku menyampah giler...

Oh and lagi satu, aku paling benci dapat benda yang kena forward2 kat orang... Bosan tahap dewa! Selalunyer dapat forwarded email yang suh kite forward kat dier balik sbg tanda yang kita still anggap dia kwn baik. Eh Dol, selagi ko ade dalam Friends list aku tu, ko memang kwn aku la... Xde keje aku nak forward2 email. And lagi satu yang email Bill Gates nak share keuntungan dier ngan korang?? Please la wei!! Pakai pun Windows pirated... Wakakaka! Boleh x leave my name out of your list yang nak forward2 tu?? Sick of it!


::STUDIES::

Hmmm, aku still xde tajuk untuk my 3rd speech dalam kelas Public Speaking. Bengong laa... kenapa nak kena cari technical topic? Aku bosan ngan technical stuff!! Aku tanya roommate ku yang budak Civil Eng, elok jer dia wat tajuk 3rd speech dier 'Aloe Vera'. Haa, macamm tu laa... Simple jer... Xdelah technical hape pon... Aih nak wat macam mane lecturer tak sama... huhu... Ecah nak wat tentang CNC Machine, Azizi nak wat tentang ISS, Najwa nak wat berkaitan robotic... Aku? Aihh...bosan...bosan...
Topik aku sebelum ni 'Domestic Violence' and memang aku suka tajuk tu. It relates to everyone cos it could happen to anyone. Tapi, kalau technical stuff ni memang aku blur... Aku risau audience bosan jer... huhu... next week kena present tapi tajuk pon xder! Waaaa.....


::FAMILIA::


Nini tengah gayut ngan Mak... time gotong-royong Kolej Mawar

Pagi tadi time tengah melepak tunggu tugasan untuk bergotong-royong, Mamito called. Kereta mak berasap semalam... Dah masuk bengkel... Bgtau tu jela... Mmm, kena duit lagi... Aihh... Plan macam nak balik Beruas jer next weekend. Bosan dok Shah Alam. Cos kepokaian melanda, jadi x syok kalau nak merayap pun. Jadi, lebih baik balik rumah. Lagipun teringin giler aku nak tengok Yong's new pet. Nama kucing tu Vanilla Coke. Bengong jer name. Takkanla nak panggil panjang2? "Vanilla Coke oh Vanilla Coke...." Hisy, merepek tol Yong aku ni... Aku and Nini dah plan nak panggil ape... panggil Coke. Atau disebut sebagai "Choké".... Haha....

Aku rase aku xsave lagi mms gmbar kucing tu so xleh nak upload kat sini... Tapi memang comel! Kitten lagi.... Huhu.... Aisey, kena balik la next weekend and suh Yong bawak balik kucing!


Daaa...

Alhamdulillah~~

Saturday, March 22, 2008
Bismillah~~

Hmm, aku bangun lambat hari ni... Dan aku tak pegi pun modul... Arghh, bengang! Tension... Ni semua gara-gara aku terbangun tidur pukul 2.30pagi and susah nak tidur balik... Ruginyer tak pegi modul. Sekarang baru rasa menyesal. Sebabnya, next semester pulak la baru aku leh pegi. And next semester kena pegi sampai 2 kali laa... Arghhhhhhhhh!!!!

Hujan tengah turun dengan lebat giler sekarang...
Tak tahulah kenapa, setiap kali hujan dan kalau aku tengah duduk2 bersahaja di bilik, mesti aku akan jadi emo. Rasa syahdu... Rasa sedih... Melankolik semacam... Itulah kuasa hujan, menyebabkan orang yang keras dan degil macam aku ni rasa vulnerable sangat.

Masa aku tengah baring-baring sambil peluk Mr. Pinky yang gebu and lembut pemberian Abang Popeye, ade 2,3 baris ayat sajak yang melintas di fikiran... Tapi, itu tadi. Sekarang, try as I might, I cannot recall those lines... Tak dapat nak catatkan di sini... Aihh... But then, bukanlah puitis sangat pun... So, xpela kot...(spare u the laugh...) =P

Esok ada gotong-royong Kolej Mawar dan aku ditugaskan mengecat tembok (???). Hmmm, Nini punyer giliran pagi tadi. Kepoh jer minah tu menyebok kat bilik aku pagi2 ajak aku mengecat dengan dia jugak, supaya xdela aku kena mengecat esok... Ahh malas aku... Dah la modul tak pegi, rase menyesal tu tak hilang lagi... huhu...(T_T)


...


Someone said, "you don't belong to me anymore..." but then, I never was. Hmm, nampaknya someone has forgotten that I belong to me... Aku letak lagu tu kat profile friendster aku lame giler dulu...



"I Belong To Me" ~ Jessica Simpson

I belong to me...

It's not that I don't wanna share my life with you baby
It's just that I'm the one I need to be true to baby
And I won't give up me to be part of you
It's not that I don't wanna have you in my life baby
It's just you gotta know that it's got to be right baby
Before I open up my heart to you

I don't need somebody to complete me
I complete myself
Nobody's got to belong to somebody else

I belong to me
I don't belong to you
My heart is my possession
I'll be my own reflection
I belong to me
I'm one not half of two
And if you're gonna love me
You should know this baby
I belong to me

I gotta let you know before I let you in, baby
That who I am is not about who I am with, baby
That don't mean I don't wanna be here with you
I do

I don't need somebody to complete me
I want you to know
I'll give up my love but I'm not giving up my soul

I belong to me
I don't belong to you
My heart is my possession
I'll be my own reflection
I belong to me
I'm one not half of two
And if you're gonna love me
You should know this baby
I belong to me

Oh yea

Love don't mean changing who you are to be
Who somebody wants you to be
Nobody's got to belong to nobody

I belong to me
I don't belong to you
My heart is my possession
I'll be my own reflection

I belong to me
I don't belong to you
My heart is my possession
I'll be my own reflection
I belong to me
I'm one not half of two
And if you gonna love me
You should know this baby
I belong to me...


Alhamdulillah~~
Bismillah~~

It's 2.30 am now... Aihh... penat giler hari nih... ditambah peristiwa malam ni yang menyakitkan hati... but I'll jot that down at the end of this post...

Today (or should i say yesterday? cos it past midnite oredi..), my Vector class was cancelled, so I was asleep till 10 am. And then rasa malas plak nk gi kelas German pukul 10.30 am cos aku xkan dapat siap dlm masa 30minit and for sure tetap lambat sampai gak ke kelas tu. So, ape aku buat? Aku tido balik sampai pukul 12.45 tengah hari... Heheh... nak buat macam mana, badan aku still sakit2... ditambah ngan ke'uzuran'ku, memang sedap la tdo... Aku bgn dalam kul 1 pm lbh kurang cos Nini mesej, bila nak pg bayar duit short course aku. Cos plannya nak pegi Menara (pej.pos di menara) pas org abis solat Jumaat. So, barulah aku bangun mandi..hehe... bukan aper, aku tak leh pegang duit tu lame2, takut terguna... =P

So, pas gi bayar duit untuk kursus intersesi tu, aku and Nini mulala plan nak merayap. 1st, ingat nak pg tengok wayang kat JJ, then aku jadi malas cos nak kena naik bas... Lagipun, aku sayang duit nak perabis ngan tengok wayang... baik aku gmat. Tengok jer la citer yang aku baru donlod kat Internet. Ade 2 movies aku tak tangok lagi... Maka, plan pun berubah dengan hanya merayap ke PKNS, SACC dan PAS. Nini ade bende nak shopping ckit, aku just teman cos duit dah tinggal ciput after bayar duit short course. Aih... yang geram tu, time duit dah tinggal ckit ni lah macam2 benda and barang keperluan dah nak abis... Iaitu Mamee Mawi, contact lens dah nak expired, solution contact lens dah nak abis, pencuci muka dah nak abis, bla bla bla...

Then, pg la cari aku nyer contact lens. Kat England Optical dijual ngan RM60 and kena order la pulak... Lagipun mahal la... RM60! aku leh dapat RM50 jer kat Sitiawan! hehe... kena berkira jugak! Tak berduit buat cara xberduit...haha... Jadi, aku and Nini plan gi Focus Point kat SACC. Haa, kali ni dia jual RM50 jer... tapi yang aku nyampah tu, kena order jugak... "Freshkon warna Groovy Green power 150 xder stok la dik..." Ape ke he nyer? Aku tak pernah kalau nak beli lens sampai kena order... Tapi, xpela... order pun order la... Selasa ni paling lewat barang tu sampai... Mmm, kuar lagi... abis duit lagi... Aihhh....

After that, singgah MPH baca2 majalah ckit. And then singgah kedai cd/vcd/dvd cos tengok citer Enchanted yang kedai tu tayang...Oh, we love musicals! Nini beli vcd Enchanted cos yang dvd Yong beli dulu gambar huduh. Ni beli ori, mesti la cun kan... Hmm, sedihnyer cos susah nak jumpa pirated dvd kat sini... I miss Penang... haha...

Nak balik, tapi hujan lebat. Nampak plak Secret Recipe. Ape lagi, walau xberduit, aku tak boleh nak resist temptation from eating delicious cakes! Huhu... then, macam biase, aku bedal la aku nyer faveret kek... hehe... Nini lak ngan fish n chips dier...


My cheeseecake... dah kena makan baru teringat nak amik gambo...haha

Nini nyer makanan yang aku pau jugak ckit...hehe..


Hmm, pas makan... baru la nak balik. Masa ni dah dalam pukul 6.30 gitu. Tetiba aku dapat sms dari Ecah bgtau malam ni punyer presentation nak pakai baju kurung or just T-shirt and pants jer... Aku terkejut cos aku xingat langsung malam ni ade presentation Bel. So, ape lagi, kelam-kabut la balik... And later on that evening, I choose to wear a kebaya... haha... And oh, Anwar looked gorgeous! Cos jarang boys ni 'menyemart', and Anwar particularly nampak hensem giler pakai kemeja and slacks... Aku luper lak nak amik gambo... haha... Anwar, if ever you come across this, jangan terbangga sangat ok!

Then, elok jer aku abis present, dapat la msg dr someone yang datang jauh2 nak jmpa aku malam td... Gabra gak tapi nasibaik la aku dah present, leh la excuse dr kelas tu...kuar awal....

And yang aku xpuas hati nyer, why was he so cold?? If you miss me, then why act like that? No smiles greet me... And what you did later, pisses me off. Aku memang bukan jenis orang yang leh deal ngan coldness. Ahh, bosan la plak citer tentang ni...

Dahla, dah spoil mood aku...
Kena tido balik cos nak bangun awal esok... ade modul la pulak kat fakulti... *sigh*

Alhamdulillah~~
Friday, March 21, 2008
Bismillah~~


Semalam (cos dah pukul 1.20 pagi) cuti Maulidur Rasul. Selamat Hari Maulidur Rasul. Selawat dan salam ke atas junjungan Nabi Muhammad SAW.


Aku baru bangun tidur. Tidur since pukul 8.30 malam tadi. Aku rasa penat sangat je hari ni padahal tak ade la bukan ade buat ape sangat pun. Cuma, hari ni barulah aku terasa sakit sebab jatuh kelmarin. Nak jalan pun susah, lutut lebam, hip sakit dan dekat pinggang aku pun sakit. And tangan pun sakit jugak. Aihh...lembik betul la aku ni... So that's why la balik2 dari fakulti petang tadi aku tertido sampai la pukul 12.30 a.m baru bangun. And aku xdapat nak pegi diskusi German pukul 9 mlm td. Sian Anwar penat tfon aku... Tapi serius aku mmg xlarat....

Hari ni program aku ialah tutorial dengan Apit. Study kat fakulti dari pukul 2.30 petang,and pukul 7 petang baru balik. Refleksi diri untuk hari ni ialah, aku study la jugak kan... cos kalau x, aku mmg xstudy... And Apit okey la jugak... eheheh... Despite the fact yang dia kata dia lupa bawak rotan! Hahaha...



Kelas tempat aku study...




Dompet, henpon, pencil case... Warna yang kebetulan sama...



Yeah, that's my tutor, Apit.



My picture captured by Apit.



That's our snack...hehe...

Heh...cukup la ckit2 gambo yang aku upload... Oh, fyi, gambar2 ni diamik time aku bosan cos Apit tinggal aku masa dia gi solat. Tu pasal aku amik gambar...and mostly using his camera phone... (sebab tu xcantik! hahaha...) Lagipun aku maleh nak ngedit...

Kay la... itu jer program aku hari ni...selain xdapat join Anwar, Moris and Wani utk bincg ttg presentation German.... :'(


Okey, I have Vector Dynamics (eh ade kelas ke xde ek...cos aritu lecturer kata dia nyer cuti x approve lagi...) and German... Kena tdo and study German ckit.

Salam.


Alhamdulillah~~
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Bismillah~~


Haha... dalam ketaksuban aku hendak lepas geram akan ketidak puas hatian aku terhadap seseorang, aku terlupa nak catatkan bahawa semalam (cos it's past midnite already), dalam lebih kurang 10.30 pagi, aku mengalami kemalangan kecil yang menyebabkan lutut aku luka dan lebam, and tangan aku luka. Sebabnya?? Aku jatuh!

Aku nak citer dengan detail pun malu la pulak... ekekeke! Sebab, aku baru pas citer ttg ni kat adikku, Nini and dia bantai gelak tak hengat dunia! Siot. Huhu... Dahlah sakit. Malu le pulak... Ahaks! Tapi xperla.... citer jela... leh gak wat gelak2.... =P

Citernyer macam ni, aku tengah tunggu Akma untuk serahkan Lab Reports dia kat aku. Oh, fyi, every Wednesday aku memang akan busy and always in a hurry. And elok je pas jumpa Akma, aku turn back, then I tripped over something... Besi ape tah. So, I fell unceremoniously on the ground. Dalam erti kata lain, tergolek dog la aku kat situ. Hampir terlentang... Memang jatuh ngan badan aku terhempap kat atas jalan, and tangan kiri aku yang cuba tahan aku jatuh luka cos jalan tar tu banyak batu kecil. Scheiße! First sekali, aku punyer la terkejut yang aku jatuh. Memang sangat terkejut. Cos aku pelik macam mane aku boleh jatuh sampai sebelah selipar yang aku pakai tertanggal dan terpelanting jauh? Semuanya berlaku dengan sangat pantas. Then, barulah rasa sakit. Sakit pinggang aku cos macam tergeliat pun ada. I fell on my left side of body. Dahlah baru pas hujan. Basah la bahagian kiri jeans aku dari bawah sampai atas (sampai hip) dengan bercampur ngan pasir2 cikit. Nasibaik la jeans aku warna gelap. Aku xtau la berapa banyak mata yang memandang. Dahlah berhadapan ngan bus stop! Ramai giler orang tunggu bas nak pegi kelas pukul 10.30... Ditambah ngan students yang parking motor kat situ lagi... Kereta2 yang lalu-lalang kat tepi tu.... Waaaa..... malu.....

Tapi, aku yang dah memang clumsy nih, wat selamba kodok aku jer... ngan selipar yang dah putus sebelah (aku jatuh dengan tragik), jeans yang basah and kotor sebelah, aku melintas jalan and balik kolej... Itulah kisah kelakar hari ini.

Seriously, aku memang dah lama tak jatuh. I mean, jatuh yang betul2 jatuh la... Cos aku jatuh kali ni memang serupa nangka busuk... And memang aku terkedu sekejap sampaikan adelah dalam setengah minit aku terduduk dekat atas ground (yang berturap) tu cos terkejut. Blur sekejap. Yelah, aku jarang jatuh! Haha... Aku tahu dan sangat pasti, kalau Nini tengok, memang dia tak tolong aku bangun. Instead, she'll laugh her ass off watching me. And despite the pain and the shock, (and the humiliation!), I do think it's funny... Just by remembering it, membuatkan aku sengih sorang2... Hee...

And entah kenapa, takde pulak aku marah2 bcos of that. Deep down, aku tahu kenapa Allah bagi aku jatuh... eheheh... Nak ingatkan aku over something... Hmmm....

Okeylah, ape lagi yang nak dicatat? Yang worth remembering? Hmm.... xde dah kot. Okey....

Tschüss!

Salam...


Alhamdulillah~~
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Bismillah~~


Lepas taip 'Bismillah' tu, rase macam tak jadi pulak nak taip ape yang terbuku di hati... Nak lepas geram sebenarnya ni... Aku ni memang tak boleh rapat sangat dengan perempuan. I mean, I can't really have girlfriends... That's why I don't have lots of girlfriends. Aku sendiri tak pasti sama ada mereka salah tafsir aku ni macam mana, or aku yang salah tafsir mereka (ok, in this case, 'dia' la cos sorang jer...) macam mana...

Dahlah tu, macam nak burukkan kita pada orang lain... And for sure punyer aku akan dapat tahu. Tak fikir ke perasaan aku nanti macam mana? Boleh plak cakap kat orang, "Kenapa diorang buat aku macam ni?" And then, nak suruh orang tu jawab ape? Nak orang tu kutuk kitorang pulak lah? Come on laaa, masalah sikit jer, kenapa nak besar2kan... Masalahnya pun memang dah berpunca dari engkau. Settle kan jelah sendiri. Perlu ke nak menyusahkan orang lain pulak? And nak burukkan orang lain pulak? Siap nangis2 yang aku tak tahan tu... Tolong lah... Benda kecik jer! Hisy!

So, kesimpulannya, aku ni memang tak boleh tahan ngan sifat-sifat seperti berikut:
1) Mengada-ngada
2) Tak paham bahasa. Dah bagi subtle hint pun xpaham2 jugak...
3) Orang yang bergantung sangat pada aku
4) Cakap banyak tapi keje tak buat. Kalau ko mmg xbuat keje tapi diam jer, aku boleh terima.
5) Kuat mengadu/kaki report/penyibuk

dan yang sewaktu dengannya...
Kalau anda memiliki ciri-ciri di atas, please stay away from me...
"If not, this expensive Nike shoes of mine will look very pretty on your face!" **

Haha... Dahla... Dah lepas jugak geram ckit2 walaupun tak sepenuhnya...

**Quote dari budak kelas Bel aku. Name ape tah. Dia sebut ayat di atas masa present Bel bertajuk Anger Management dan menyebabkan aku sakit perut gelak dalam kelas...


Alhamdulillah~~
Bismillah~~

Despite the fact that I really want to go home this weekend, plus Cikgu Pah nak ajak pegi Cameron Highlands, unfortunately I CAN'T GO HOME!

Sedihnyer...huhu... Tapi bila memikirkan aku ada banyak keje, so xjadi la nk balik... Tapi sedih gak... Walaupun dah selalu pegi Cameron and tido sana (kitorg sewa apartmen untuk satu family), tapi rasenya aku tak jemu2 pun pegi Cameron. Cos aku memang suka kawasan tanah tinggi... And cuaca yang temperate... Best jer tido kalau sejuk2... eheheh... Just perjalanan nak ke sana tu je la yang xlarat. Nini memang dah bosan nak pg sebab dia yang kena drive... Haha... Aku lak selalunya naik Getz cikgu jer... Aihh, teringat lak kenangan last semester... Pegi Cameron with 3 cars... Mizi's, Mom's and Cikgu Pah's... =)

Ahh well...whatever...
Today I woke up early... maybe sebab last night tdo awal... 12.30 mlm dan lena... Terjaga pukul 5.30 am,and after bermalas2, pukul 6 am aku bangun and basuh muka (xmo mandi...sejuk cos hujan..eheheh). Then wat milo sambil wat keje ckit smbil amik ketenangan subuh...lagipun aku tgh 'cuti'....Hm, ade presentation hari ni... And kena siapkan Lab Report. Bosan. Tapi aku seronok gilababeng cos Isnin lepas adalah hari terakhir untuk Lab! Xde lab dah till final... huhu... So, petang Isnin aku akan free... Yeay!

Waa...sebut pasal final, ada lagi 3 minggu lebih kurang untuk final exams. Argghhh!!
Stress! Hmm, ade date ngan Apit this Thursday untuk study Vector Dynamics. First time dia ajar, mcmane la gamaknyer... Hopefully okay... Weekend ni aku memang kena habiskan kerja-kerja (study la tu...) yang dah lama tertangguh... Wah, bunyi mcm semangat jer... Jangan hangat2 tahi ayam udah... =D Heee.... Oh, and that would mean, I'm going to be offline for a while... Kena suruh Nini amik modem.... cos selama ni online almost 24 hours! Dah addicted!! =P


Picture of me studying at Ptar3 last sem. Taken by Syuk.


~~Ya Allah!Aku ini lemah,aku kadang kala melupakan-Mu tetapi Engkau wahai Maha
Pengasih, tetaplah padaku.~~


Alhamdulillah~~

Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Bismillah~~

Reason to Smile

How can one smile such sweet smiles,
When one is so saddened by sorrows for miles,
How can I smile the same smiles,
When life brings me nothing but tears,

I wondered for so long,
What reason you had to smile that long,
To keep smiling though troubles come,
And still remain sweet and silently overcome,

It's such a mystery to me,
Your smiles from heaven with glee,
I adore and yet envy thee,
But I'd rather you smile those at me,

I feel happy when I see you smile,
Even if I'm sad and lonely,
Your smiles bring me somewhere,
I don't even know where,

But it was you,
You gave me the reason to smile,
To smile with no reason,
To smile for a smile,

I guess life is just like that,
We need not a reason to smile,
For a smile is the reason itself,
To rejoice and open-heartedly give thanks,

I learned to smile because of you,
Because your smiles bring me joy when blue,
It proves how well and powerful,
A simple sweet smile can become so beautiful,

Smile for the sake of a smile,
Smile for the sake of happiness,
Smile for the sake of life,
Smile because of hope left in life,

Smile my friends,
Smile for me my Love,
Smile those same sweet smiles,
Smile so the world can be a peaceful dove...


Lendl Ian Servillon


Yaa... Aku sedar aku jarang senyum kat strangers (female)...lelaki lagi la xde!
Aku selalu kagum dengan orang yang boleh senyum dengan siapa-siapa pun...
Sebab, aku bukan sebegitu. Aku hanya senyum pada orang yang aku kenal jer... Kecuali kalau aku tak nampak la kan... Rabun... eheheh...

Aku nak post tentang senyum ni sebab my friend tiba-tiba komen tentang keadaan aku yang memang jarang senyum. Katanya, first time tengok aku, ingatkan aku sombong. Rupa-rupanya bila kenal, okey la jugak ('okey'??). And she said I don't smile to strangers. Hmm, bagi aku la, aku ni pemalu... So, xdenyer senang2 aku nak senyum kat orang... even perempuan. Lainla kalau orang tu senyum kat aku dulu... Confirm aku balas... hihi... :D

Kalau nak senyum kat lelaki, hanya pada kenalan jer la... Or males yang superior dari ku...or older dariku...eheheh... Malu...malu....


::CURRENT MOOD:: ||M O D E||

Mobile Phone;
Theme: Lakeshore Love
Ringtone: Steps - The Way You Make Me Feel <---bahagian chorus
Message alert: Mandy Moore - Walk Me Home <--- bahagian chorus
Wallpaper: Err... Gambar budak huduh... =P
Phone's Name: Rye's
Top 5 Favourite playbacks:
1) Elliot Yamin - Wait For You
2) Michael Buble - Home
3) Dewa 19 - Tak Ada Cinta Yang Lain
4) Soundtracks citer Step Up dan Step Up 2
5) Soundtrack filem Sweeney Todd - By The Sea

Mood : Lazy... ( 80% malas, 20% confused)
Financial : Ikat perut.

Studies: Err... no komen!
Love: Still skeptical...
Health: Selalu sakit perut...salah makan...and of course, montel as always... haha
Family: Missing them so much...
Friends: Annoyed. =P



Alhamdulillah~~
Bismillah~~


Note: This entry is so g-wang karat and merapu... Please don't read if you think I'm a dreamer, wasting my time blogging such nonsense cos this is my blog. Suka hati aku laa...




I thought love was just a mirage of the mind,
it's an illusion, it's fake, impossible to find.
But the day I met you, I began to see,
that love is real, and exists in me.

- Chris Farmer -



Nice kan poem tu? I wish I could say that so a special someone. Tapi, sekarang ni aku tersangatlah skeptical about love. Sebab, setakat yang aku alami dan perhatikan, tidak banyak cinta yang berkekalan. Memang benar lah cinta yang hakiki milik Allah SWT. Namun, jauh dalam sudut hati, nak jugak cinta sesama manusia yang berkekalan... Someone yang boleh aku sayang selama-lamanya... bukan sehari dua, setahun dua, ataupun setakat 20 tahun... tapi sepanjang hayat aku...

Sekarang ni, kalau melihat orang bercinta, aku akan berfikir sendiri, "Berapa lama sangat la bertahan agaknya..." Ntah kenapa... Itulah yang berlegar dalam kepala otak aku... Even kalau nampak pasangan suami isteri jalan bersama di shopping complex ke ape ke, aku akan berfikir, "Bahagia ke? Laki dia tak main kayu tiga ke?" or... "Bahagia ke lelaki tu? Perempuan tu okey ke?"
Hisy, teruk betul la aku nih... okey2... tak sepatutnya pikir macam tu... Semua yang berlaku qada' dan qadar Tuhan... Allah dah tentukan semuanya...

I am so confused... Maybe dalam phase yang tak ketentuan hala ni lagi... (Xabis2 ngan phase aku...hihi...)
Masih skeptical mode... (skeptical kalau dalam Bahasa Melayu ape ek?)

Words "I Love You" should mean a lot... but I found it being said over and over without meaning...
If a man said that he loved me,
I would be like, "For how long?"
or...
"Heh...yeah, right...."<--- but then of course la benda ni dalam kepala jer...xkanla nak cakap plak kan... =P

I do feel guilty sometimes... cos mungkin orang tu betul2 maksudkan ape yang dia cakap... Tapi, to really really trust someone is not something I'm capable of... at least, not now...

Ahh, sudahlah... Amende aku merepek banyak-banyak nih...
Salam.



Alhamdulillah~~
Monday, March 17, 2008
Bismillah~~

Tadi selepas Lab Dynamics, aku pegi amik borang short course/intersesi...
Sebenarnya masih ragu2 sama ade nak buat short course ni ke tak...
Ecah (my friend yang sekelas and selevel) pun dah xjadi nak buat cos financial problems. Aku pun ade masalah kewangan jugak... Tapi, macam yang aku dah deal dengan mak yang mak kenala tanggung aku dalam sebulan tu cos mana aku nak cekau duit kalau bukan dari mak. Duit loan tinggal sikit jer...cukup2 untuk abis semester ni dan bayar duit short course je kot. Nasibaik kos xnaik...still RM200 per subject.huhu...

Amik subjek yang agak susah... Fluids Mechanics... Ramai orang fail subjek ni. And aku dapat rasa, kalau aku xbuat short course and amik subjek ni sem dpn, sure naya jgk... So, daripada duduk rumah membesarkan badan (cos aku for sure xkan keje punyer), i think it's better for me untuk amik short course... Target aku nak lulus dengan okey... cos aku xlarat dah nak carry2 paper ni... penat sesangat...

Nampaknya, cuti panjang yang menyusul lepas final exam ni akan aku penuhi dengan kursus intersesi, insya Allah (cos duit pon xbayar lagi nih!)... Nini plak akan ade praktikal... So, okla kot. Hmm, alhamdulillah roommate aku, Kak Nor pun nak buat short course jugak... Bolehla aku menyibuk2 and mengekor dia nak menginap di mana... cos aku still blur lagi ttg mcmane nk stay di kolej time short course. So, lega sesangat cos Kak Nor ader...

Okeylah, tutup citer short course...

Aku baru sahaja dinasihati oleh seseorang supaya jangan malas2... Aiseh la... Aku ni mmg xsuke orang bagi nasihat. Lagi2 kalau orang yang bagi nasihat tu, aku ade problem ngan dia.... Pulak tu, nasihat aku time aku tengah moody (period) ni... Memang wrong timing laaa...
Aku tahu la ape aku perlu buat... Memamg dah tau tapi xbuat (yer...dah tau tu)... Kalau aku xsedar tentang kemalasan aku, xkanla aku boleh luahkan tentang kerisauan aku tentang ape yg berlaku pada diri aku... Aku tgh nak bina semangat baru la ni... Janganla menyibuk2 bagi nasihat... Aku xsuke... Cakap sekali sudah la... Kalau aku dah cakap, "Sudahla...", then you better stop. Cos I got your point already... xpayah nak ulang2 benda yang sama berpuluh kali... Spoil mood aku jer... hisy!

Dahlah...mood aku dah xbest dah ni...
Bosan.
End of post.

Alhamdulillah~~
Bismillah~~

Hmm, my previous post did sound pathetic. Isy, xbest2...
Aku bukanlah orang yang seperti itu sebenarnya... sebabnya, aku tak pernah kisah pun kalau berseorangan. Malahan, aku suka berseorangan sebelum ni... Mungkin sebab baru lagi dalam situasi ni... Perlu masa untuk adjust... Huhu...

I'm thinking of going back to Perak this Thursday. Cos Khamis tu cuti Maulidur Rasul and hari Jumaat aku just ade kelas German jer...hehe...(nak monteng German la ni...)
Tapi, bila memikirkan Nini (my sister yang dok blaja kat uitm jgk n dok sekolej dgn aku) xleh nk join aku balik cos dia ade test hari Jumaat tu, aku jadi macam malas plak nak balik...

Yer, aku rindukan mak and others yang kat rumah. Lagi2 Nan pun ade blk dr Terengganu, wat PBS kat Sek. Keb. Beruas (haha)...so, rumah tu mesti penuh...mesti best...huhu...

Tapi, aku sedar jugak yang aku xbelajar2 lagi... Final dah dekat. Ade 2,3 subjek yang aku masih terbengong-bengong lagi... Waaa sedihnyer...

I guess I have to ask Apit and Syuk to tutor me. Cos aku memang xleh study sendiri sorang2... Memang kena ade orang push, guide and observe. Kalau tak, aku punyer fokus mula la merewang ntah ke mana... Well, inilah masalahnya kalau belajar benda yang kita kurang minat... Tapi, nak buat macam mane, dah rezeki Allah...

At least, semalam aku happy jugak. Dapat mesej dari someone abroad. Walaupon orang tu xleh sms byk2 cos dia kena caj RM2/sms, aku dah cukup lega... (^v^)v

Minggu ni aku perlu settlekan hal-hal presentation BEL, presentation CITU dan jugak hafal skrip untuk German punyer presentation...Jenuhla nak hafal. Sem lepas aku hampir termiss satu dialog! Bengong...hahaha... Aku agak risau ngan German. Sem lepas leh dapat A, tapi sem ni aku kurang confident untuk score A lagi... Lecturer sem ni agak laju berbanding sem lps (PM Hj Noh ROCKS!) and ntah kenapa, aku punye minat terhadap German macam dah menurun...
Last week, first time aku tertidur dalam kelas German!

"Ana! Kamu tido ke, na??" <--- My lecturer dah ingat nama aku and panggil aku Ana.

Aku memang terkejut beruk time dia sergah aku... dia tak marah cos dia mmg lecturer yang cool... Tapi, malu gila aku... Semua bantai gelak... Siot.

Hmm, aku bangun2 tidur tadi dah semangat tak nak memonteng lagi (cos aku terlajak tidur sampai memonteng kelas pagi tadi)
Harap2 semangat xmo memonteng ni berpanjangan la....cos aku xtau la kenapa...
Rasa macam teruk sangat jer hidup aku sebagai student sekarang ni...


~~Ya Allah!Aku ini lemah,aku kadang kala melupakan-Mu tetapi Engkau wahai Maha
Pengasih, tetaplah padaku.~~

Alhamdulillah~~
Bismillah~~

zwani.com myspace graphic comments


Tajuk post yang poyo... Pathetic giler... But then, that's how I feel right now...
I don't know what's going to happen to me...
I feel so down... and I'm so wrapped up with laziness...
Got lots of things to do but what did I do? Just lazing around...lying on my bed...sleeping...
Cube untuk lari dari masalah-masalah yang membelenggu diri dengan tidur...dan tidur...
Hanya dengan cara itu jer aku xfikirkan sangat perkara-perkara yang meresahkan jiwa ni...

Aku terlalu banyak perkara yang perlu diselesaikan... Terutama sekali belajar la... Tapi aku jadi malas sangat nak belajar... Even Syuk ajak study group sama-sama hari ni pun aku tolak dengan alasan aku xlarat sebab period. Well, that's not exactly a lie cos memang agak xlarat nak ke mana-mana kalau tengah uzur. Tapi...kalau hendak, seribu daya kan... Aisyh... Ntahla...

And of course, rase down giler sebab rindukan kehadiran seseorang yang dah bertahun menemani aku belajar. Rindu memang rindu... Tapi, aku sedar... Aku kena kuat. Aku tak boleh asyik mengharapkan orang jer... Aku sedar tu... Cuma, rasa lemah sangat2...

Ya Allah!Aku ini lemah,aku kadang kala melupakan-Mu tetapi Engkau wahai Maha
Pengasih, tetaplah padaku.

Ya Allah, berikanlah kekuatan....

Alhamdulillah~~
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Bismillah~~


Bak kata bait-bait lagu nasyid,

"Rindu itu adalah, anugerah dari Allah
insan yang berhati nurani, punyai rasa rindu..."


Aku memang tengah merindu... Tapi, rasa rindu ni bukan hanya pada seseorang... Tapi lebih dari seorang jejaka!
Tak payahla explain banyak2 kat blog ni sebabnyer nanti akan mengundang pelbagai persoalan.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aku merindu pada seseorang yang pernah membantu aku ketika aku dalam keadaan susah sampaikan nak give up, tapi dia setia membantu aku...
Aku rindukan senyuman yang mampu buatkan aku tersenyum walaupun dalam keadaan marah...
Aku rindukan kesabarannya melayan karenah aku...
Kesabarannya mengajar aku...
Aku rindukan kehadirannya di sisi aku...

Aku rindukan seseorang yang tiba-tiba muncul dalam hidupku...
Yang muncul dalam keadaan tidak disengajakan.
Dan menjadi lelaki pertama membuatkan aku rasa sangat bersalah kerana menyayanginya...
Dia yang tidak dapat aku lepaskan walaupun aku patut lepaskannya sejak awal-awal lagi...
Aku rindukan usikannya, sikap ambil beratnya, kenakalannya...
Aku rindukan suaranya...
Aku rindukan kedegilannya...
Dan aku amat rindukan kasih sayangnya...
Ya, dia merupakan insan yang sangat2 aku rindu sekarang...

Aku rindukan dia yang menyayangiku...
Yang sanggup berjumpaku walaupun sibuk...
Aku rindukan mesej-mesejnya...
Aku rindukan panggilan telefonnya...yang sering mengejutku dari tidur yang lena...
Mengingatkan aku supaya ke kelas...
Aku rindu berjumpa dengannya...
Aku rindu melihat wajah itu...

Aku merindu pada lelaki itu...
Lelaki yang manja itu...
Yang sering menyakat ku...
Yang seperti sangat memahami diriku...
Walau tidak pernah bersua...
Aku rindu...


Alhamdulillah~~