Saturday, October 14, 2017

Alhamdulillah. Still alive and breathing to write stuff up in my blog.

It has been quite a tough few weeks for us.

Started with me and Razin having diarrhea... Few days bad, few days ok... then it started back again. It was tiring. Razin even exploded at his kindy. Poor teacher Nadia has to clean up his mess.

Next, Raul and Raiq was also contracted with the virus. Yes it was virus. I thought at first it was the water we drank (baru pasang Cuckoo last 26th Sept)

Poor Raiq, few morning I woke up finding his diaper was full and the watery stool leaked all over him and the mattress while he was still sleeping.

Poor me too cos man, it was so exhausting to clean up the MATTRESS! Dahla tilam askar yang berat tu. Nasibaik la tak setebal tilam spring.

Raiq dengan chicken pox nyer, then now cirit-birit. Kesian sangat. Kurus-kering jadinya. My poor baby :'(

However, I'm still grateful since these were all we're having right now. There are more unfortunate people right... so yes, alhamdulillah... I'm sure it will be better soon. We just have to be patient. :)

On another note, the school holiday has started so we're all in Beruas right now.

I have many things to write about but now macam stuck. Don't know how to start.

I was browsing video journals on Youtube just now (at the shop) and I am so touched by Aida Azlin's vlogs. So inspiring... and how I envy her confidence, her wisdom... she'd just turned 30 and she's at the high point in her life where she seems to know what she wants.

And me? I'm 32 and sometimes I question myself, what do I really want at this point of my life?

What makes me happy?

What drives me?

Truth be told, sometimes I don't even know what I want.

I filled my time with things, stuff, hobby that makes me happy (for a while). Man... I was so busyyyyy

But there's this void that... no matter what I do, I still feel empty (?). Entahla. Don't really know how to explain...

Maybe in the midst of handling my children, my business, my life.... I lost part something.

Part of me(?).

I don't know.

I wish I could shake off the uneasy feeling. :(

Written By Ryehana