Tired or sad?

bismillahirrahmanirrahim

Sometimes we never know what life gives you. How you ended up... or what really is going to happen?

The last few months has been challenging.

I find myself changed.

I'll be 36 this August.

And I still do not know what is it in my life that gave me contentment. What is it I'm proud of?

Sometimes I feel like I do not know this woman I am now.

Oh well.

I'm just so tired and sad.

alhamdulillah...

Can I...?

bismillahirrahmanirrahim...



Can I just be someone's mom, someone's wife, someone's daughter... without having to please others?

Without having to deal with people's shit that mess up my mind?

Sometimes I felt like I want to give up what I'm doing now. To close down the biznes and just stay at home minding my children.

Sometimes people can be so overwhelming. Businesses like mine is just a small one and I'm tired with how some of the customers asking this and that bla bla...

I'm tired.

Is it the age factor?

I felt like the passion is gone. Maybe because I no longer has babies? Or is it because now I have 3 boys and they took all my time so I don't have enough energy to work at the shop anymore?

I'm beginning to feel like I'm slowly losing it. To what, I don't know.

Can I just stay at home, please?

Well... I already know the answer to that.

I can. But then we wouldn't afford much things we have now.

Ahhhhh the worldly things.

I'm torn.

alhamdulillah...

Window

Bismillah...

"Conscience is the window of our spirit, evil is the curtain."

Alhamdulillah....

Taking a beat

bismillahirrahmanirrahim...


I've been real busy since the last week of March. Really focusing on my work; Mama Panda shop and its little upgrades (finally installed shelves to display carseats), tidying it up (getting rid of 2 years' accumulation of boxes!) and uploading stuff in our Shopee's shop.

Not to mention opening new slots and handling a new bunch of kutu groups.

And of course, juggling being a mother to 3 boys as well.

Gosh. Today I was exhausted and I forgot to pick up Razin from his preschool.

I went to the shop around 11am and I slept!

I don't know what time I slept last night... maybe around 2.30 am? Raul and Raiq were wrestling and didn't want to sleep eventhough it was 11 ish I think... then they wanted their rounds of milk (made em twice! 2 bottles each -_-) and I think they slept around 12.30-1am...

As for me, I was watching reruns of The Vampire Diaries on my phone. Installed iflix and there I was... watching the show again (I've watched it before in 2009-2010). I guess I needed some distraction from my work and the kids... and maybe because I'm so effing tired of cartoons. My God... the endless loop of Upin & Ipin on the TV was driving me crazy.

So padan la muka bangun lambat, hantar Razin lambat and tired at shop. But I needed it! haha... adoiyai... I need distraction to get my mind off things.

Anyway, I hope I can manage my time well after this.

There are several things that stresses me out now though:

1. My weight has gone back up to 78kg!! wtf.... so geram. But my fault jugak. I didn't go to the gym at all this week. And today is already Thursday! Last week pun tak pergi tapi at least aku naik cross trainer kat rumah jugak for 3,4 days in a row. But this week? Nada. Takde mood weh. Rase.... mmm rase takde mood sgt-sgt.

2. Baru format laptop (this is the 2nd time since I bought it) tapi masih berproblem nak connect wifi. Kalau boleh connect pun kejap je.. then mulala keluar Limited lah, No Internet lah. Heyyy bengang gile aku.... Now aku online guna cable LAN cucuk kat unifi punye router/modem watzisname. Bengang ler... nak download balik benda-benda yang aku selalu guna since dah takde bila format. Dahla touchpad laptop ni rosak dah. Sedihh... aku tengah pikir nak beli desktop tapi sayangnye duit. Huhuhu... nak beli refurbished je tapi takut jugak if tak ok. Nanti bazir duit. haihhh

3. Moneyyyy... hahaha... I want money to decorate Razin's room. Well, now dah ade temporary work station for me to do some work at home. Nice view etc. And I'm itching to install wallpapers to its bare walls. And maybe paint it? I was also hoping I could change the drapes in my bedroom, Razin's room and the other room. See? Merapu-rapu je kan, Ade je idea nak ngabih duit. Tapi takde fund pun lagi. T_T

Dengan nak raya lagi... duit tempah baju belum settle lagi ni. Aiyoooo


Oklah. That's all for now.

alhamdulillah

Bebel-bebel

bismillahirrahmanirrahim...




Rajin pulak nak update blog today. Maybe sebab masuk kerja awal dari biasa, Hanis tak datang lagi so aku update la kejap.

Kat blog ni aku tak citer lagi eh yang Kak Yantee aka my trainer dah kena pindah ke daerah Kuala Kangsar? Sedih giler aku masa dia kabor... yela, aku ni dahla takde kawan sangat kan, aku kawan dengan dia je.

Lepas ni nak pergi gym, nak pergi hiking dengan sape? Nak bergossip, nak menyembang hal bini-bini askar dengan sape? Sedih wei... aku takde kawan huhu

Like today, sebenarnye aku tengah semangat berkobar-kobar nak hiking Bukit 300 tu tapi takkan la nak pergi sorang-sorang? Bahaya oi. (dahle aku ni penakut le jugak)

Pastu nak pergi gym pun, mmmm malas sebab sorang-sorang...

Anyway, since dah takde trainer, aku decide I HAVE TO CONTROL MY DIET.

That's the least I could do now that I won't be working out much? Don't know...

Target aku nak dapat below 70 kg je. Walaupun berat ideal would be 65 kg, but man, itu zaman anak dara kot? Takyah kurus kerempeng sangat (padahal susah nak capai kahkah). 

Nini sekarang dah banyak turun berat cos dia buat Just Dance and treadmill kat rumah. She is also a calorie-counter (very annoying most of the time) and control makan gile-gile. Menyampah haku. Tapi tu memang bagus la kan, berat cepat turun. Haih... semoga istiqamah untuk #ananakkurus2016

Ade beberapa hari je lagi untuk habis tahun 2016. Tercapaikah target #ananakkurus2016 tu?


---

Next, cerita tentang budak-budak. Razin and Raul now kat Beruas, aku hantar semalam cos Yong suruh hantar. Yong and Huurun ade kat Beruas. Yong siap bawak mak mertua dia lagi and sorang lagi anak sedara umur 6 tahun, Abg Chik. Bestfriend Razin. So that's why aku bawak le jugak Razin balik.

Jumaat nanti nak kena amik balik cos husband aku pulang and he will want to see all of his kids at home.

Weekend ni spend kat Lumut je cos ade orang nak check in homestay dua malam. Plus, last weekend dah balik Beruas, weekend ni dok je la Lumut. Kalau nak merayap pun maybe Isnin or Selasa? Kalau rajin.

Umi, my lived-in babysitter dah request awal-awal yang first week of January tu dia nak cuti seminggu. 9hb Jan baru datang kerja. Huhu... jenuh ler... Husband said, maybe tu tanda-tanda kena cari pengganti dah? Well, I hope not. Tak larat nak cari orang. Hopefully she still wanna work with us. Dia start April aritu kot. Gaji pun aku dah upkan dah. Oh well, we could only hope.


---

I can foresee 2017 can be a tough year financially. Well, dari segi bisnes, memang dah nampak how people are so berjimat-cermat sekarang... Again, let's hope for the best.

Razin will be 6 years old next year. How time flies. I'm getting old too. Husband would be 37? Hmm tapi lahir hujung tahun, lambat la lagi... His birthday is tomorrow by the way (8th Dec), so esok baru genap 36 years old. Wow. Dah tua. kahkah...

Oklah. That's all for now.

Diakhiri dengan gambar anak-anak kesayangan.

alhamdulillah...

Can't sleep

bismillah...


Aku rasa ni penangan Dolce Gusto la ni... Harini aku minum sampai 2 cawan Caramel Latte Macchiato sebab kehabisan milo. huhu..

Harini my lived-in babysitter (helper) cuti so aku dok umah and tak kerja kat kedai today. Even Razin pun aku pontengkan cos tak larat nak angkut semua naik kete untuk hantar dia. Ala, bukan belajar dah pun hujung-hujung ni... :p

Penatnye jaga anak kat rumah wei. Memang idak le aku untuk jadi work at home mom again. Memang takleh pun. Arini pecah cawan Raul buat.

Tiga-tiga asyik bergaduh berebut mainan. haih

By the way, Razin's Ihtifal is this coming Saturday. Dia baru 5 tahun so takdela beria sangat, just nak tengok persembahan jela.

What else to jot down? Macam banyak tapi terbantut cos I'm typng in the dark. Keyboard aku ni plak tak berlampu so tak nampak sangat nak menaip huh. Memang le hafal kedudukan huruf, tapi kinda annoying gak bila typo and nak delete, tak delete2 jadinya. grrrr.... Semua tido bawah cos aku malas nak angkut Raiq naik atas. Dia tengah tido dalam buai....

Aku macam dah tak larat la jadi human pacifier. Cepatla dua tahun oi. Takde la serba salah sangat nak weaning. Raiq ni macam Razin... still bf sampai besar walaupun dah campur formula milk. Sian Raul cos merasa 4,5 bulan je :(


Ermmmm ape lagi...


Sambung nanti2 la.


I miss blogging. hm.




Daaaa....

Tulis tak habis

bismillah...

Banyak Drafts rupanya...


Nak update blog tapi selalu tak cukup masa.

Ni aku nak update hal Freemie ni tapi busy....

Next time lah. Bye


Current weight: 78kg

alhamdulillah...

Over achiever

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

This is a self reminder.

Ya Allah, janganlah aku jadi sampai macam ni. It's just UPSR for God's sake!

But yeah... I can relate with the mother's dissapointment. Lagi2 if itu anak sulung or the only child. Hmmm...

Dear Raihana, sebelum dikau menjadi ibu seperti itu please remember the below points:-

Masa ko UPSR tahun 1997 dulu ko dapat 3A 2B jer. Sepupu aku dapat 5A. Pressure tak?? Hmmm I remembered it made me sad. But, my Mom didn't make any big deal about it. So yeah... Lantaklah weh. I am not planning to send my sons to boarding school at the tender age of 13 anyway (yeahh I'm paranoid with bullying!)

Next, UPSR je pun! Even if it's PMR (now PT3 eh) or SPM, be realistic. Be gentle. Be calm. Keputusan peperiksaan tak menjanjikan seseorang budak tu akan cemerlang dewasa nanti.

Aku dah ade contoh sikit dari sejarah dulu.

Aku ni masa sekolah rendah, takdela top student sangat pun awalnye. Darjah 1-3 periksa tak pernah pun top 3. Dapat no.10, 7,8 bla bla.. Dah masuk darjah 4 baru la dapat no.2 kikiki.

I had a very happy childhood. Aku tak kawan dgn budak-budak yang top students... Instead, aku kawan dgn bdk yg tak tau membaca, tak tau mengira, and result corot2. Aku lah yg paling ok pun wakaka.. Tapi tak kisah.. Takde makna ape sangat pun (ehh except Emy selalu tiru homework aku and upah aku seposen or dua posen kikiki)

Aku suke ikut kawan2 mandi sungai (yang ni kalau Mak tau memang aku kena tibai. So kena senyap2 hahahah), main rounders bla bla. Haihh happy nyer zaman 90an dulu. 90% of the time we played outside. Takde makna nak cooped up in the house watching tv etc.

Well, masa PMR aku dapat 7A1B. Yang B nyer Sains haha. Tak dapat pergi mana pun so still dok sekolah menengah yang sama (sekolah yang sama Mak aku ngajor). Pressure jugak la cos orang kata result ok apsal tak pergi mana kan.. Ah lantak. Aku anggap takde rezeki jer. Tapi tahun aku dulu memang kelakar sikit cos kengkawan yang dapat MCKK, MRSM & Sekolah Sains semua balik semula ke sekolah lama after just a few weeks at their new school. Hampehh hahaha.. 

Tapi itu buat result SPM ramai la yang excel berbanding tahun sebelum tu. Sekolah kitorg sekolah kampung jer ye. Tak glemer pun. Luar bandar. So dapat 3,4 orang result straight bagus dah mcm hape sgt dh...

My point is... Eventho result SPM ko excel sekalipun, tak semestinya ko akan jadi power ranger bila besor nanti. Kalau result SPM teruk pun tak jugak bermakna takde masa depan. Come on. Those are just papers.

Ape paling penting selain formal education? Bagi aku la kan...

1. Islamic education

2. Skills beb!

3. Being street smart and not just book smart.

Ape istilahnyer.. Interpersonal skill ke ape tah.. Whatever lah.

Aku harap anak-anak aku nanti at least ade satu kemahiran dalam life diorang nanti. Be it sewing, repairing stuff, cooking bla bla. Ala yang macam kat kolej vokasional tu.. Aku rasa tu penting gile in future. Nape lah masa aku kecik-kecik aku tak tau... And tak dipaksa ade kemahiran.

Yang palingggg aku kesalkan adalah kemahiran menjahit. Itu yang aku paling loser. Tahukah anda bahawa if u can sew, u can earn lots of money?? Provided u have the creativity, neat sewing skill and bisnes minded cam aku ni lah hehehe.. 

Haihh kenapalah aku ni takut dgn mesin jahit (yes, seriously...)

Aku rasa penting gak utk anak kita tau dah besar nak jadi ape. Ape cita-cita dia so kita leh guide ke arah itu.

(Btw cita-cita Razin sekarang ialah nak jadi Robot lol)

Ape lagi points...

Haaa dulu-dulu aku selalu dibandingkan ngan Yong cos masa sekolah rendah, Yong ALWAYS dapat no.1 dalam kelas. Imagine lah bila aku masuk sekolah rendah aku dapat no.10,9,8... Hahaha.. Dilabel "tak berapa pandai sangat adik Ain tu". Kahhh.. Ade aku kisah

Then masuk sekolah menengah Yong melingkup. Dapat no last2 je ekekekeke... Aku masuk sekolah menengah oklah ckit.

Friends play important roles. Alhamdulillah la kawan2ku masa sek.men. semua skema2 and jenis berlumba2 study. Maka, terikut gak la. Dahla tu, mak aku ngajor sekolah tu... Kena la jaga air muka Mak sekali huahua...

Ape-ape pun, perjalanan masih panjang lagi.

Biorle kalau orang nak upload gambo anak konvo/menang hadiah ke ape ke kat Facebook nun. Lantaklah. Jangan la nak dengki or rasa rendah diri ke ape... Jaga hati tu, jangan negatif sangat boleh tak?

Mmm sekian. Semoga aku ingat ape aku catat ni.

Panjang giler menaip... Haaa aku ni kalau dah masuk memory lane mulalah...

Better stop now. Adioss

Alhamdulillah...

Bersih 4.0

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Dulu aku tak paham ape yang buat orang berkumpul and protes itu ini.

Dulu aku tak paham kenapa nak bangkang and menyusahkan orang dengan berhimpun beramai-ramai tu.

Yang aku nampak, menyusahkan orang sebab jalan jem, kedai terpaksa tutup cos takut ade rusuhan.

Yang aku nampak, mereka-mereka yang tak bersyukur 'negara masih aman'... 

Yang aku rasa, "alahh korang buatla ape pun, takkan nak merubah apa-apa... Buang masa je"

Aku hanya follow and tahu tentang "Bersih 1.0" dulu cos kat masa tu kecoh kat twitter and my cousins and blogger friends ade join.

Bersih 2.0 & 3.0 aku tak tau langsung bila berlaku.

Aku tak rasa aku perlu tau pun.

Betapa ignorantnya aku.

Now baru aku paham.

Sekarang baru aku rasa mereka-mereka ini hanya nakkan "kebersihan" dalam negara.

Berhimpun ni je cara paling "selamat" untuk protes. 

Berkesan ke tidak, tu belakang kira. Asal kita usaha.

Mereka hanya perjuangkan hak mereka. Hak aku. Hak kamu.

Betapa corrupt nyer negara ni kan... Dah umur 30 ni baru macam tersedar and nak amik tau hal negara. 

Kalau dah Tun M pun join, itu menunjukkan apa?

Ini bukan blog politik. Setiap manusia ade pendapat sendiri. 

Agree to disagree.

Salam...

Alhamdulillah...

Random

bismillahirrahmanirrahim...


Have you ever felt so unappreciated?

You became bitter and cold.

Love turned to hate.

Despair.


Have you ever felt so down?

You cried your eyes out only to find nobody to comfort you... and you have to calm yourself from thinking or doing something stupid.

Have you ever felt that way?

And then you felt ashamed --- you're an ungrateful person.

Others had it worse.

You felt bad and selfish.

But you still are not satisfied!

Do I have to swallow all the pain? Will there be a way out? Ever?

You don't know.

You have no one to confide to.

You have no one to talk to.

And you're all alone.


Miserable.

Unhappy.


Tell me have you ever felt like that?

Like you could never be happy again.


And the thoughts brought shivers down your spine.

Current bedtime story

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

I bought this book agessss ago. Before ade Raul, I think.

Baru baca few days ago tu pun belum habis and I skipped chapters. Politics bored me to death.

But I was fascinated with his stories. His early life. A truly eye opener.

Let's hope I could finish this book soon.

By the way, selamat menyambut bulan puasa!

Alhamdulillah...

Long weekend

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Still awake. Razin too. And from the sound I heard right across the hall, I guess Raul is awake too. Takpelah, Mak Yang dia ade jaga...

We're in my mother's house since last 30th April. Oh Raul dah lama kat rumah Mak, she took him under her wings when my babysitter decided she couldn't take care of Raul anymore.

It was a tough week... Raul sakit and macam kena roseola... Then suddenly babysitter told me she can't babysit anymore. Luckily I work on my own. Imagine how would I handle this if I have an employer and have to take leave from work few days in a row??

Mak cakap, tinggal jelah Raul kat Beruas sampai aku beranak. Ermm hello, I'm due in July kot. Lambat lagi. Takkanlah nak tinggal je anak and jumpa on the weekends only??

Turned out, I had to. 

I was devastated. Still am. Felt like I failed as a mother. But what can I do??

I don't expect people to understand my working nature. Most people assumed that "ko kerja sendiri kan, bawak jelah anak pergi kedai.. Ape susah?"

Susah. Tak boleh nak bawak. Bukannya tak pernah bawak (sebelum ni pun babysitter jaga 4 hari je seminggu). Tapi memang susah.

I have only my brother to help. All of the GST stuff really messed up my life as a small retailer. Menyusahkan okeh!! Benci sangat-sangat dengan implementasi GST ni. Arghhh berbakul sumpah seranah... Malas nak taip.

The fact that I am also pregnant pun adalah faktor yang menyumbang kenapa aku tak boleh nak handle kedai + anak at the same time. 

Aku pregnant terlampau awal - operate bulan Mei 2014, then bulan 10 dah preggy. Luka operation baru nak baik, berat badan memang tak sempat turun (tak boleh nak berbengkung sangat cos sakit + takde exercise + tak bertungku sangat kat perut).... Aku memang sangat-sangat tak fit.

Very overweight. Ape taknya, berat masa preggy yang dulu tak sempat dihapus dah preggy lagi. Last time timbang 87kg kot (my ideal weight is 60-64kg!)

Maka, aku selalu tak larat. Baru 5,6 bulan pregnant dah asyik sakit pinggang. Tak larat jalan or diri lama-lama. Nak mengadap laptop buat kerja lama-lama pun tak larat... Aku asyik nak baring and tido je. Seriously I'm always miserable.

Dahle cmtu, kena GDM lak.

So..... Too many stuff on my plate.

Kerja asyik bertangguh-tangguh. Hate it.

Aku ade contact ejen untuk carikan maid tapi belum ade lagi kemasukan baru utk dioffer.

In the midst of all this, I too am unhappy with some personal stuff. Felt like I'm alone in handling all the problems. Semuaaaaaaa benda aku yang kena handle. Penat tau tak. Really felt unappreciated.

All I need right now is comforting words, hugs... A lot of TLC.

I'm afraid I'll break down soon.

Bestfriend sejak form 4 baru bertunang. Semoga dipermudahkan segalanya Bed. Tahniah :)

Alhamdulillah....

Depression.

bismIllah...

Credit

I'm holding on...

alhamdulillah...

Random

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

1. Pause and reflect. What have you done to your soul? Your life?

2. Count your blessings. Do not envy others. People envy you too, you know. Everyone has their own ups and downs.

3. Ask Allah for forgiveness. Ask Allah for some peace and quite. If you're lost, do not count on other people. People dissappoint, Ana. When will you learn? 

4. Nobody's perfect. You're not perfect. You have too many flaws... Why do you judge others? Yeah, sometimes you couldn't care less... But sometimes there are times when deep in your heart you judge how people live their lives. Don't! 

5. This life is too short. The next life is the eternal one. Remember that.

6. Love yourself. Love your children. Children loves their mother unconditionally. Always remember your children need you. Suck it up!

7. Money does not bring happiness. But money helps to lower the burden. Never ever stop making money. Always remember the how great it felt when you can help others. 

8. Busy yourself. Stop thinking about the past. Stop wasting time. Past cannot be undone. Live your life!

9. Patience. The main key when raising your kids. Remember your own childhood. Remember why you hated your father? Do you want your children to hate you?? Remember Ana, remember....

10. Nothing is about you anymore. You'll be 30 this year. What have you done to improve yourself? What if you die tomorrow? Will you be missed? Are you ready to meet your Maker? 

Think, Ana.

Think.

Life is short. Real short.

Alhamdulillah...

Alone

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Tidak berseorangan. Tapi rasa keseorangan.

Keseorangan mengharungi hari.

Keseorangan membesarkan anak-anak.

Keseorangan memikirkan masalah-masalah.

Aku.

Seorang.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Harta-tanah

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Tetiba nak tulis tentang hartanah walaupun sebenarnya takdela pandai sangat.

Kat FB banyak org bagi nasihat untuk beli rumah apartment berbanding landed house (rumah atas tanah/teres/banglo etc) especially kalau nak sewakan.

Aku setuju. TAPI, depends lokasi juga. Dan depends pemaju/pengurusan apartment tu.

Macam kat Lumut ni, ade satu tempat tu memang femes giler... Orang gelar A10 cos ramai navy duduk/beli rumah di apartment ni. Dalam base tldm tu kuarters navy sampai A39 je (nama blok), so yang kat luar ni walaupun dah sah2 bukan kuarters kerajaan, tapi ade gak nama timangan manja jadi A40 hehehehe

Anyway, apartment A40 ni sebenarnya Apartment Bukit Permata. Banyak blok actually... Tapi sentiasa ade isu timbul. Mostly masalah parking, lif dan bekalan air.

Rumah apartment memang murah la sikittt dari landed house. Tapi kalau dah bermasalah rupa ini, memang tak ok la. Orang pun takut nak nyewa.

So tips beli rumah apartment dulu baru beli landed house tu tak berapa tepat sangat.

Aku harap masalah kat apartment Bukit Permata tu cepatla bertambah baik.

Padat sangat manusia.

But on the bright side, semakin naik kedai2 and macam2 kemudahan. Bagus la kannnn... 

Semoga sewa kedai aku maintain sampai bebila huehue...

Entry blog di kala bosan and takleh tido so scroll Fb ajer... Hehehe

On another note, ramai plak orang tetiba add kt fb. Now i dont feel comfortable updating status on fb yg berbunyi personal/merapu. Hmmmmmmm.....

Alhamdulillah...

I wonder...

Bismillahirrahmannirrahim...

Alhamdulillah...

A robot.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...


Sometimes I feel like a robot.

Going through the days without feelings. Working till my body aches. Facing the laptop till my eyes bleed.

Yeah sometimes.

But when I look at my boys... the feelings came back. My love. My life.

Rauhillah atau nama manjanya Raul, 3 bulan.

So tough having 2 kids and working from home. Tougher when you have ermm... well, quite a number of customers to entertain. alhamdulillah...

Going crazy at times.

But I'm holding on.

Bukan senang nak senang kan?

Bersusah dulu, bersenang kemudian insya Allah. Tu pun kalau umur panjang... 

Anyway... i'm just rambling... finding excuses to upload these pictures.

Waaa... banyak kerja pending and banyak benda nak citer tapi takde masa. Now dah 1.46am and still not sleeping cos my mind is full of ideas. Full of things to do... only problem is, my body is VERY TIRED.

Guess I better hit the bed now.

Will write again soon.

I  found words (from reading 3 books previously) are really comforting. I found stories inspiring... it helps me to write in this blog again haha...

Semoga menulis sampai ke tua. Rubbish mostly, yes. But also my memories :)

Sekian.

ahamdulillah...

Susah hati

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

36 weeks pregnant and baby still in breech position.

Keserabutan minda.

Feeling unloved and unappreciated.

Scared.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Things i feel so sure about doesn't seem so anymore.

And I don't know what to do other than embrace what's in stored for me.

May Allah helps me.

Alhamdulillah...

~ time to write in Personal Thoughts (my other blog) again ~

30hb.

bismIllah...


Dah gaji. Walaupun bukan aku yang dapat gaji, tapi sebagai seorang penjual, merasa la jugak tempiasnya. Time ni baru orang membeli barang... time ni jugak baru orang bayar duit kutu (yer, ade kutu stroller, kutu carseat dan juga kutu baby carrier di Mama Panda). Huhu...

Time dah gaji ni jugak aku busy sikit check payment, bungkus barang dan pos.

Alhamdulillah sekarang ni aku tak lagi berkejar ke Poslaju untuk pos barang. Aku tunggu orang kutip kat rumah je... Aku dah buat akaun dengan Gdex dan KTM. So, jimat masa dan tenaga.

Dan aku juga semakin malas.

Since dah tak keluar rumah sangat, aku mana ade nak jaga muka lagi. Serius. Takde dah tempek moisturizer ke... berbedak ke... setiap pagi macam selalu. Takde. hahahahampeh.

Dan di usia 27 tahun ni (birthday aku bulan Ogos! so masih 27 tqvm), memang rasa kulit dah tak secantik dulu. Dahle aku ni pulak pemalas ya amat bab-bab jaga muka ni. Nasib baik la Allah kurniakan kulit muka yang tak banyak masalah... xde jerawat sangat etc. So, xjaga pun xpe sebenarnye. Cuma berkerak plak rasa  cos lama tak letak apa-apa kat muka.

Esok 1 May. Cuti hari buruh. Sesungguhnya aku dah tak sabar nak tunggu suami pulang. Kali ni penantian ditunggu kerana perkara yang lain dari biase. Dia kini sedang memakai kereta aku. wahhh... jeles gile... tapi kena sabar cos lepas PRU je baru dia balik.

Ada lagi seminggu....

Esok Mak Yang, Abah, Kak Lin balik. Nan balik hari Jumaat. Aku pun balik Beruas esok juga. Sebenarnya aku nak balik malam ni, tapi budak-budak tenants ni tak kuar abis lagi.

Sabtu ni ada kenduri... bestnya ramai-ramai berkumpul. Too bad my hubby couldn't come. :(

That's all for today. Till next time.... Daaa...

alhamdulIllah...