It's 3.18 am, Sunday 23rd August.
I still can't sleep.
Maybe because I slept for 2 hours this afternoon?
The baby is sleeping beside me now. Don't know for how long. He fell asleep just an hour ago.
Lots of things happened this past few days...
Abang Ama passed away last week. Right after Mak, hubby, Razin+Raul, Nini & Diyana visited him at Paya Jaras last weekend. I didn't go cos I'm still in confinement... Plus, I don't think I can stand 3-4 hours drive with all the kids!
I felt so sad I didn't make it to see him one last time. Totally upset with the news...
You see, if you follow this blog from 2009 you would know that I used to work in KL at Hertz car rental. Abg Ama was the one who got me the job. I even stayed at his house in Damansara Damai for a few months... Back then I didn't have lots of money to give him or to "belanja" his kids. Haihh so freaking sad and guilty for not having the opportunities to pay back his help.
What's even sadder was to know his kids are now without a father or mother. Arwah Kak Lela passed away long time ago... Since the youngest child was a toddler I think. And now he's fifteen. There were 5 of them. The oldest is 23-24yo (i don't remember). None of them are married yet. May Allah bless them. Insya Allah relatives are close by and willingly help out.
It has been 26 days in confinement.
Yesterday I was shocked to find out my incision area (from c-section) is bleeding... Well not really bleeding yang darah mengalir-ngalir tu. But if you dabbed the incision area, there was blood on the tissue. Mamito freaked out. She checked and helped me wiped the area clean (I can't see clearly because I'm fat! Perut menggelebeh tutup luka czer)
Whatsapped my cousin who's a doctor and she said it looked like "wound break down". Yela.. Dah 3 weeks patutnya kering dan takde ape dah tau. Masa Raul dulu no such problem. Just sakit je tapi kat luka tu after 3 weeks takde ape dah rasanya...
I was supposed to see a doctor yesterday tapi tak sempat. Busy kat rumah handle budak2. Monday jela. Tu pun kalau bleeding lagi. Hopefully tak dah. Stress tau bab luka operate ni. Sebab ni la aku benci operations!
Rasa macam tak nak preggy dah. Fobia. Takut kena operate lagi (90% chances of being operated again... Remember, dah 2x czer ok!)
Lagi beberapa hari je nak habis bulan Ogos. Nini ambil cuti sebulan je untuk tolong aku... Lepas ni she's back working kat Koperasi Beruas (yer, dia ade master tapi keje admin kat Beruas je).
Hanis still works for me. Tak tau la sampai bila kan... Tunggu dapat offer keje gomen je tu, kalau dapat dia bye2 ler kat aku. Huwaaa...
Sebenarnya boleh je nak hire adik-beradik sendiri kerja. Tapi kena la buat betul-betul. So far takde peluang, masa dan FUND.
Btw, it is becoming tougher than ever with the ringgit dropping so bad now. Sebelum ni aku tak pernah kisah bab ekonomi... Now that I have my own bizz, memang terasa bahangnya. Orang bodoh je kata ringgit jatuh tu menguntungkan. Stupid gile. Haaa geram lak aku...
I wish I have more knowledge on economics and calculations to comment more on the matter.. Rugi plak tak rapat dengan Pak Chu aku yang ngajor Economy kat UKM. (Segannnn...) Dia memang pakar le.. Nama lagi Associate Professor. Huhu...
Tapi setakat yang paling obvious adalah sales down la woi.. Even aku dah berbulan-bulan tak shopping baju budak kat US stores. Orang lain? Sama gak. Semua berjimat-jimat.
Sales down ape jadi? Bungkuih ler! Nauzubillah min zalik.
Kat Manjung ni aku tengok ade 1 kedai baby milik orang melayu dah tutup bisnes and nak jual bisnes dia 50k. Aku slalu usya kedai dia cos tepi jalan utama, memang selalu nampak tutup, ingatkan sebab raya.. Tak sangka lak memang tutup bisnes!
Pehtu ade kedai baby bertukar nama - tak tau la nak lari dari tax ke or memang dah bertukar owner....
Ya Allah murahkanlah rezeki kami semua...
Aku sedang bertahan. Moga dipermudahkan... Insya Allah.
Wei dah pukul 4 pagi!
Elokle aku cuba tidurkan mata ni. Kang jadi Mama Panda real punye if tak tido langsung sampai siang... Raiq ni dah uk ek uk ek niii...
Sempat lagi upload gambo. Ni Raiq sejurus selepas meghebeh (berak la maknanya).