Senarai kesyukuran (again)

bismIllah...

Aku dah pernah buat entry Senarai Kesyukuran. This is not a repeated post. Nor is this a copy-pasted entry. No. Entry ni aku tulis again untuk tahun 2012 ni sebagai ingatan diri sendiri...

Kadang-kadang kita hanyut... kadang-kadang kita lupa... I think as human, memang perlu diingat selalu kan...

1st sekali, aku sangat-sangat happy semalam cos I finally dapat pasang kabinet for my bizz stuff! Untuk pengetahuan semua, aku sangat sangat sangat kepinginkan kabinet macam yang aku buat ni sejak awal tahun lagi...

Tapi, mana nak korek duit?? Haha.. bisnes pun ciput-ciput je. Tapi alhamdulillah, berjaya jugak buat walaupun korek duit sana sini. Alhamdulillah...

Kontraktor yang sama buat kitchen cabinet kitorang dulu, si Ah Seng. 

Baru la tersusun and kemas sikit stok-stok baby cariers aku.

Ohh, I LIKE!! ^__^

Syukur... berjaya dapat display cabinet camni (ade cover kaca). Terover bajet sedikit... kitorang bajet RM2K lebih jer... Tapi ni kena caj RM3400. Amik quotation dari 2 orang... Ah Seng jugak yang murah sikit. Yang sorang lagi quote RM3700. huhuh... 

And today, Sabtu... ade customer from Ipoh datang Lumut and singgah nak beli Boba. Walaupun my SOHO ni tak kemas pun, tapi aku excited ajak masuk and pilih nak corak mana. Dari nak beli Boba 3G sahaja, they bought Boba 3G, Zoobies and Boba stuff sack with matching prints! Oh... lagi la aku happy. 1st customer yang datang view kabinet baru and beli. ekekeke... ALHAMDULILLAH.

Terima kasih dear husband yang tolong your wife ni merealisasikan impian.

Terima kasih dear husband yang benarkan your wife ni pulang semula ke Lumut cos she's not happy in Johor.

Terima kasih. :')

Sebenarnye kitorang dah overspend sejak bulan November lagi.

Aku pergi Bandung, husband beli Virago, beli sofa, and now buat kabinet ni kan... Siyes memang banyak lari la bajet. Abis segala mak nenek duit yang dok simpan-simpan sume dah dikuarkan. uhuk uhuk... perit gak le cos aku ni bukan ade gaji tetap tiap-tiap bulan kan... bisnes memang bisnes, tapi paham-paham jela... ade pasang surutnye.

Mudah-mudahan aku lebih kuat bekerja selepas ni. 

Mudah-mudahan semua susah-payah ni berhasil.

Sekarang tengah pening kepala cos kitorang nak kena bayar downpayment rumah dah... yang rumah kedua tu... Loan kitorang memang dah approve. Tapi instead of jumlah yang kitorang nak, dapat less than that. Kena topup lagi. So... officially, bulan ni makan megi jelah ye. HAHAHA. Dok Beruas, makan biar Mamito tanggung. Wakakakaka... jimat makan, bil air, bil letrik etc. (mampoih kena pelangkung ngan mak)

No la... esok Razin will be with me insya Allah. We'll stay here in Lumut after this. Lagipun kabinet dah settle. Bab kemas-kemas tu leh je time Razin ade. Kena banyak bersabar la. Rindu gile kat anak aku... tapi dia rilek je mak dia takde huhuh...

Dear Razin, i'm doing this for our family k. You'll understand someday. Look at the bright side, tak dok dengan mak 5 hari je. Lepas ni we'll be together again. ^_^

Anyway... in a few months, we'll have a 2nd house! It's a semi-detached 

Alhamdulillah...

Alhamdulillah...

Alhamdulillah...

I know all this is only a loan from Our Creator. This happiness is temporary. This achievement is only for this world... while we have another 'world' ahead of us that is eternal. 

Semoga aku tak lupa... semoga dengan semakin banyak yang aku capai, semakin aku tak lupe bersyukur denganNya. Insya Allah.

Semoga aku sentiasa belajar dari kesilapan...

Rindu my handsome boy.

Gambar lama.. bulan 8 aritu..

Mak tak sempat balik kampung arini sebab mak penat Razin... and I finally managed to run errands and get my hair chopped off. Tunggu esok Opah bawak Razin jumpa Mak k...
Love u so much!

alhamdulIllah...

Bebel

bismIllah...


I felt like shouting.

That's what I usually do now anyway... 

I didn't plan to blog as it would look like I'm an ungrateful woman, but heck... I just have to let it out!

Razin was clingy these days. I had a hard time not to shout or pinch him. But I usually shout anyway. Cubit belum lagi. Tapi geramnye ya Allah....

Eh tapi sebelum ni memang dah pernah kena dah la babap ngan aku. I am a lioness. Haih... I felt bad tho. Well of course la kan... he's my only child... Aku pulak such a hot tempered person. =(

Kenapa aku tension?

Mostly sebab dia clingy and tak nak main sorang-sorang. Time aku nak balas emel, nak update website, blog, check payment or menjawab pertanyaan orang, Razin nak duduk atas riba aku. Fine, no hal. Tapi of course la bukan duduk diam. Tangan tu capai stapler la, stamp pad la, marker pad la and conteng2 tangan dia. Aku ni tak perasan cos busy menaip (imagine camne aku menaip time budak besor tu atas riba) and bila perasan, memang kena ar.

Tak pun, situasi lain adalah dia bangun dari riba aku nak capai price tag gun, nk capai fail, mug berisi air yang aku letak di tepi meja tempat aku bekerja etc. Kalau capai takde efek xpela.. ni kang alignment lari (price tag gun), kertas bersepah or air tumpah??

Bengang ler aku yang dah sememangnye busy... Lagi2 kalau time tu tengah melayan customer  banyak songeh. Tanya itu, tanya ini tapi last-last tak beli... Memang la tu perkara biase and I don't normally care about it pun, tapi bayangkan kalau time tu ade si Razin yang dah memang mengacau aku buat kerja. Lagi-lagi la stress aku ni... Arghh...

Ade orang tanya, "buat kerja time Razin tido takleh ke?"

OF COURSE I CAN'T!

I'm a fulltime online seller... Tau tak kalau sejam (waktu siang) aku tak reply comment or email pun ade yang dah hantar emel bertalu-talu suh reply. Kalau dapat yang ok tu, ok la... Dapat yang jenis nak cepat jer, tak cukup emel, siap sms or whatsapp lagi... ;)

Plus, aku sendiri strive to give quick response to all my customers/potential customers. I also post goods EVERYDAY. So, paham-paham sendiri la camne busynye aku ni... Orang bayar jer terus aku amik barang and bungkus on the spot cos takut terlupe or takut kang ter'miss'. Almaklum la banyak keje lain aku nak buat selain ngadap laptop ni. Nak mandikan anak, masak, bagi dia makan etc etc. wah supermommy nyer aku!! *if only*

So NO... aku takleh tunggu Razin tido baru nak buat kerja. Lagipun budak kalau dah setahun lebih ni bukan tido sangat pun. Kejap je...


Pastu ade orang bagitau, maybe I should "slow down on business sebab benti keje nak jaga anak kan..."

No, that's where you're wrong. I did not quit my job sebab nak jaga anak. I quit my job sebab I hate the job! Kalau aku suke, I will keep on working... sape tak nak stability like monthly salaray, insurance, allowance, EPF bla bla bla kan?

So, No. Aku benti bukan sebab nak jaga anak. Aku benti sebab I began to hate my work. Kalau aku dapat kerja lain, of cos aku akan kerja... But turned out, I managed work on my own. I generate money by staying at home. Janganlah ingat orang dok umah tu sangat rileks ok. No. Never in my case.

Aku memang nak Razin membesar depan mata aku. All that I've experienced by staying at home and taking care of Razin was a magnificent journey. It was... It is actually. Only problem is now I'm so busy... probably because the bizz has pick up pace?

I do understand time kecik-kecik ni la anak perlukan perhatian kita... tunjuk ajar kita... yes, I know that. Tapi I also do not want to be harsh at him or show him a bad example (by keep shouting and always forbidding him to do things) when I'm stressed or have too many things on my plate.

Bukan aku tak spend masa dengan dia... oh, ade jer... Razin loves books. Ni la dilema WAHM agaknye... Kang aku amik maid kang orang ngata. Dok umah pun nak amik maid. Anak baru sorang je pun... huhuhu

So... kalau nak suh aku slow down, memang tak boleh la... unless terpaksa and I have no choice (cam takde duit untuk pusing modal ke... nauzubillah... mintak simpang!)

Meh aku citer, aku takleh nk buat camtu. Not when I have quite a number of demands and I also have my own target.

Please don't see me as a full time housewife. I am not. I have my own company even if it's a small business... Aku pun ade target jugak. I am quite ambitious actually. If I am one of FTWM yang ade employer, you wouldn't suggest me to take 'my work lightly', would you? In fact, you might even suggest a maid or kindy for my child. Aku ni sama jela macam ibu-ibu lain yang bekerja, cuma lokasi aku di rumah. And I also have to juggle house chores and child at the same time.

Malahan, bekerja sendiri ni lagi seksa. You have to do everything on your own. But it's flexible. And I LOVE MY JOB right now. It pays bills... heck, in fact we're depending on it right now (gaji orang tu dah takat hidung je dok membayar itu ini). So of course I can't slow down...


Sebagai seorang ibu, aku tak nak anak aku terabai atau asyik kena marah.

Sebagai seorang bisneswoman pulak, aku ade target aku sendiri... Ade benda yang aku nak expand or improve. Oh... ianya hanya angan-angan sekarang... but who knows, I might actually achieve it!

Speaking of which...

My POV (Plaque of Vision) masa join kursus Hertz Survivor last year.

Masa ni belum benti keje lagi la...

See? 

I manage to achieve one goal... which is to have an online business on my own berkaitan barang-barang baby ni (time tu belum minat babywearing gears)

Kitorang bawak POV ni ke merata tempat time kursus tu...

Always with us.

Oh dilema seorang WAHM.

Semoga plan aku untuk tahun depan berjalan lancar... Boleh amik anak sedara hubby yang akan tunggu result nanti dok ngan aku untuk jaga Razin. Hehehehe... yes, kena ade plan. =P

I'm better in Lumut cos aku ade family dekat situ. If I'm so busy, I will go back to Beruas so that Razin will not be so clingy. And I have my family yang boleh jaga Razin kalau aku kena out station ke ape (fuiyooo out station! kahkahkah)

Sekian, pembebelan hari ini.

alhamdulIllah...

Great talks

bismIllah...


Cuti Deepavali. So yeah, a public holiday! To be honest, I don't really care for PH or weekends since I AM A HOUSEWIFE! Hari-hari cuti maaaa... but then, not everyday I can see my husband chilling in bed late in the morning :)

But Hubby bangun awal and siap-siap pun awal. Aku ni celik-celik biji mata terus open lappy since dapat banyak notification to my Blackberry and I can't check on my phone since the telco line in my house area was BAD. STILL BAD THO.

Elok kul 11 pagi camtu aku dapat sms dari Bed (or Baydah, Bedah, Siti Zubaidah). Oh, my bestfriend yang aku dah lama tak jumpa since my wedding! Giler lama ok. Padahal kampung sama-sama kat Beruas. Dia jauh sikit le kat area Batu Hampar. But still, takdela jauh benor pun. Lama tak jumpa ok. huhu...

Bed ajak jumpa since arini cuti... she is now working as Pegawai Veterinar kat Nusajaya, Johor. Her office is next to Legoland. Tapi tak pernah gak masuk Legoland. wakaka... ajak masuk Hello Kitty punyer tempat yang baru buka tu (dekat-dekat Legoland jugak) tapi malas la.. aku bukan minat HK pun. Anak aku jantan lagipun. :p

So we settled to meet at Angsana Mall... Aku pun baru 1st time ke Plaza Angsana tu... Blame my husband. Asyik bawak ke Kipmart Masai je! Huh.

Pas Zohor camtu kitorang pun jumpa kat McD. Tak berubah pun Bedah. Sama je macam dulu. Aku ni yela kan... gemok! T_T

Terasa syahdu pula cos Razin dah besor gajah baru Bed dapat tengok.

Kitorang sangat close zaman sekolah dulu. Tanyala sesapa pun... mana ade Bed, aku mesti ade. Mana ade aku, Bed pun mesti ade. Yela, dulu dia and cikgu Pah nyewa sebelah umah aku je pun. Makan pun main jerit-jerit je untuk ajak makan sekali. Sama jugak kalau berjalan... pantang kereta cikgu bergerak, aku mesti ngekor. haha..

Oh kenangan....

Hubby was 'sporting' enuff to leave us to chat. Then dia datang balik, aku suh amik Razin cos Razin restless (dah ade anak, camtu la... mane leh sembang lama2 macam zaman bujang huhu).

Then sambung bersembang kat McD tu... We talked about lots of things.. yela, years of not catching up kan... macam-macam benda la yang nak disembangkan...

It's sweet knowing I can just talk to her macam takde gap tahun-tahun tak berjumpa. We easily picked up where we left off. I always feel like this with Nyda too. Ni la kalau bestfriend kan? Walau tak jumpa, but we shared experiences with none other than that person. Jumpa balik takde awkward ke ape ke... =')

Can't deny that I feel sad that we cannot be who we used to be. People changed, yes. And of course, time changes us.

Oh sebak lak tetiba... sedih bila ingat balik things and people we lose as we grow. Of course with Bed, aku akan ingat Cikgu Pah. Cikgu Pah yang dah membawa diri... haihh... sedih ok...

Anyway, I'm glad Bed is one of my friend yang kata laki aku ok, tak pendiam. Cos no one else said so! Haha...

"Eh Ana, ko kata laki ko pendiam... Ok jer cakap ngan aku tadi" she said.

"Memang la... dah ko tegur dia ajak sembang sekali... cer kalo ko sembang ngan aku je? dia diam jela... nak harap dia tegur ko dulu memang usah harap ler"

I know my husband too well.

Sebab tu Bed ni ramai kawan. Dia jenis ramah, sempoi and ok je nak nyembang ngan orang. Dia yang tegur laki aku dulu. So laki aku ok jela... nak harap laki aku tegur dulu memang sampai kiamat takde la... dia jenis diam je.. orang tegur baru dia bercakap. hehe...

Aku memang bertuah ade kawan-kawan yang baik cam Bed and Nyda. Yang dekat di hati pun diorang ni la... Lelain kawan lelaki. Tu pun tinggal sorang je kawan lelaki yang masih close. Lelain bawak diri bila statusku berubah jadi bini orang. hehe... (hi majin, hi padi... remember me?)

Anyway, great talks I had with Bed today.

Till we meet again, Bed...

Salam...

alhamdulIllah...

Touched.

bismIllah...

Was a bit busy today... pagi-pagi ikut hubby pergi Lumut cos dia ade kerja sikit kat SSE. Nak check shaft ke mende tah (SSE=tempat aku praktikal time buat degree dulu). Tengah hari dia balik and gerak ke PJ... pastu esok dia balik Johor dah.

Aku dah lama gile tak drive... ngantok betul time bawak kereta tadi. sheeesh. Scary pulak bila ingat-ingat balik....

Anyway, aku nak citer about a TV show I watched tonight.

'How Do I Look?' on DIVA. Hosted by Finola Hughes... yes, dah berzaman punyer episod cos Finola no longer hosted that show. Ok, bukan tu yang nak aku citer...

Tapi aku nak citer betapa aku rasa tersentuh sangat-sangat tengok show tu.

Ok, citer ni tentang makeover la basically... and aku memang suke tengok transformation pada orang hehehe...

Tapi kali ni the subject really touched my heart. She was Sharon, a mother with 3 kids yang baru je mengalami perceraian.

Anak-anak dia sume ade penyakit genetik. Aku lupe ape namanya tapi yang kena masukkan feeding tube kat perut cos diorang kurang zat ke camne tah... Ketiga-tiga anaknya camtu. Ya Allah... time ni aku dah leleh dah. Nak jaga anak demam sekali sekala pun aku dah tension, ni plak yang memang sakit. T___T

Pastu dengar pulak she talked about her divorce. Camne seorang suami yang 'was a great dad to all my kids' can change and walked out on her. Okey, serious sangat sedih dah time ni... Dalam kepala otak aku, aku assume the man couldn't take the burden to care for the 3 sick kids, maybe? I don't know... But my heart fell for this woman.

She was large, but she used to be larger than that. So ok la kan... I was touched that her friends wanted her to move on... Yang si Sharon ni plak degil gak kata dia dah move on, tapi still pakai cincin kahwin. Her reason: She meant those words/vows she said when she got married... thru better or worst (and this divorce was the worst of time, she said) bla bla... Aduh... sedih sangat. Dia masih harapkan laki tu balik pada dia balik ke? Nangis gile dah time ni... huhuhu

Jenuh ar pujuk suruh tanggalkan cincin tu and she obliged asalkan at the end of the show she got the ring back.

It was fun to see her having fun trying on clothes etc. I truly can relate on how mothers yang busy giler memang takde masa nak jaga penampilan. Lagi pulak kalau nak kena jaga 3 sick children. Of course you wouldn't care you look like a slob. Asalkan comfy. Plus, dia ni short on money gak kot cos baju-baju dia kebanyakannye orang bagi... Kawan-kawan yang dulunya gemok dah kurus, bagi la dia pakai baju besar-besar tu...

Kesian betul rasa... Sayu oh... Memang menangis-nangis aku tengok show ni. T__T

Yang kemuncaknya, at the end of the show, she looked totally gorgeous.... and when they gave back her wedding ring, dia macam sebak and speechless. Sebab? Diorang tak sarungkan balik pada jari dia. Instead, diorg letak cincin tu sebagai loket rantai. So, bagi dalam bentuk rantai leher la so that she can still wear it, but not on her finger.

Sebakkkk... omg terharu gile ade kawan-kawan camtu. Really thoughtful and concerned.

I kept thinking about that show.

Kept thinking of how I always complaint this and that, tapi sebenarnye ade orang lebih 'unlucky' than me. But she face all her problems with a smile (yes, she smiles a lot and seems warm and a very nice person). I wish I could be like that. For I know I'm cold hearted most of the times... and bitter too (sometimes). My heart isn't pure... at times, it's full of negativity.

Giler terasa sangat tengok show tadi...

I wish I can be more grateful in life.

Macam tadi, Razin menangis-nangis since 9pm sebab takleh tido hidung tersumbat aku dah macam raksasa. Aku marah-marah Razin pulak cos tak reti nak diam. Aku marah sebab aku penat nak layan dia... (I'm a bad mom)

Tido and senyap kejap, pastu jaga nangis-nangis. Setiap 10 minit dari 9pm-12.30am! Oh my god... tak tau la... aku ni dah le ngantok and sakit kepala cos lama tak drive kete, dia lak sakit (selsema). Dugaan betul cos laki aku pun takde nak jaga.

Last sekali Mamito aku bangun tido and amik Razin letak dalam buai... and there he stayed till now. Kejap lagi bangun lagi la tu... hmmmm...

Ya Allah, berikanlah aku ketabahan hati... berilah aku kesabaran...

alhamdulIllah...

Tahniah, dear husband!

bismIllah...

Beberapa minggu lepas, Mr CC bbmed me a picture.

Sijil perkhidmatan cemerlang!

Weeee... Dapat duit!

Alhamdulillah...

Good job, hubby ;)

Tu citer beberapa minggu sudah la... aku pun dah lupa bila...

Then on last Tuesday, he bbmed me again...

He passed the exam he took last May!

Alhamdulillah...

Boleh dah la naik pangkat...

Walaupun lambatttt lagi cos macam-macam prosedur etc, tapi lega sangat dah cos dah lulus.

Syukur....

Walaupun minggu ni entah macam-macam benda dan cabaran aku tempuhi, at least my other half is doing great.

Rezeki Razin...

And I'm also glad that Mama Panda's carrier bags received good response!

Segala puji hanya bagi Allah... pemberi rahmat, rezeki dan kebahagiaan.

I know He can take all of these in a blink of an eye...

And I'm grateful for this blessed feeling You loaned me even if it's only for a while...

alhamdulIllah

Terkenang yang jauh di mata

bismIllah...


Dah 12 lebih. Tak tido lagi. Takleh tido. Tadi update blog Razin, ngantok.. pastu guling2 takmo tido gak. Aiyooo...

I miss my hubby la...

Rindukan suami yang sailing since malam kelmarin. Dia gerak ke kapal pada tengah malam... aku tak sedar langsung cos memang dah masuk tido since 10pm. Hmmm... Rasa ralat sikit. Sampai sekarang call tak dapat-dapat (laut mane der line).

Pekerjaan paling susah adalah menjadi bini navy kot. Tapi aku bernasib baik lagi cos hubby dok kapal kecik so sailing kejap-kejap (tapi selalu!)... Sunyinya rasa. Rindunyaaaaaa...

Tapi kalau ada asyik geram and annoyed je. Huhu... Memang camtu ke kalau dah kahwin, tido sekatil and duduk sebumbung?

Teringat masa mula-mula kenal dulu... I never ever expected him to be my husband. Tak pernah terlintas langsung dulu... almaklum, sebelum kenal beliau aku bercinta dengan orang lain. huhu...

Tapi dah jodoh kan... kahwin jugak dengan dia.

Sangat banyak perkara yang aku bersyukur. Nak tulis senarai kesyukuran??

1. Aku bersyukuar aku kahwin with my hubby. 5 years older than me. Ade rumah dan kereta sendiri before kahwin.

2. Aku bersyukur since kahwin, terus pregnant.

3. Aku bersyukur bila dah pregnant tu, dari kerja kat KL dan berjauhan dengan suami dan family, company kebetulan nak buka branch kat Perak.

4. Aku bersyukur bila plan asal nak bukak branch kat Ipoh Airport, then last minute (dah ada kaunter kat airport dah masa tu) tukar... tak jadi bukak kat Ipoh Airport.

5. Aku bersyukur bila company bukak new branch di Marina Island, Lumut! Just 10 minutes away from our house.

6. Aku bersyukur bila at 5 months plus aku dah pindah Lumut. Beranak kat Hospital Angkatan Tentera (since hubby kan tentera) yang ok sesangat. Tak ramai orang, bilik privacy and layanan ok. Takde langsung doktor lelaki yang kelebek or sentuh aku. Semuanya perempuan sahaja. :)

7. Aku bersyukur my first baby was born tanpa banyak masalah. Lahir normal... takde kena vacuum, induce or gantung kaki. Fuhhhh fobia bila ingat balik.

8. Babysitter?? Alhamdulillah ada adik yang menganggur sudi jaga. Tak tau sampai bila cos she's still looking for a job but in the meantime, memang aku sangat beruntung ada Diyana jaga Razin. Rumah pun berjaga, kemas, laundry settle, makanan pun dia masak (ikut mood dia la).

9. Aku bersyukur kerja aku setakat ni masih lagi flexible dari segi masa. Time rehat leh balik susukan anak + cuci lampin.

10. Aku bersyukur kami ada kereta dan motor. Luckily, we only need 1 car in the family. So jimat gak le... naval base dekat je ngan umah so hubby pergi kerja naik motor je. :)

Razin, 1 day old.

Ada banyak lagi tapi tak larat nak taip.

Sesungguhnya, aku sangat-sangat bersyukur dengan pemberianMu, ya Allah...

Rasa rindu ini? Takpela... that's what make the love much more sweeter.

Time preggy 6,7 months last year.

alhamdulIllah...